Thread: Canoe or Kayak
View Single Post
  #4   Report Post  
Galen Hekhuis
 
Posts: n/a
Default Canoe or Kayak

On 14 Jan 2004 08:08:35 -0800, (Gene Cosloy) wrote:

Hi,
I'm relatively new to the sport and currently paddle a light touring
kayak in fla****er rivers. Am I missing something by not doing the
same with a canoe? Fundamentally, why choose one over the other? Are
kayaks faster? Are canoes safer? What about wind and current? Is it
harder to control the direction of a canoe than a kayak under the same
conditions?


Kayaks are much, much better than canoes. I mean that in the spiritual
sense. I don't mean to imply that kayaks are faster, safer, handle wind
and current a lot better than a canoe, and that kayaks are hands-down
easier to control than a canoe. Although all that is true, I don't mean to
imply it. If you think of it in Good vs Evil terms (and you should) you
will quickly see that kayaks are gentle, yet strong when necessary, fine,
thrifty, loyal, brave boats and that canoes are sniveling, whining cowards.
Did you know that in Old Indian the word "canoe" means "silly boat we
conned the white man into using with silly paddle he also think we used"?
Furthermore, canoes have to be stored upside-down, or they will run away.
Kayaks, on the other hand, would never even think of running away, and can
be stored right side up. Canoes have to be spanked to get them to go
forward. You may hear it referred to as a "J Stroke" or something, but it
is simply a way for the canoeist to beat their boat underwater. Why do you
think canoeists call them "paddles"? You'll notice canoeists always have
to keep their paddles close to the boat, lest an unexpected beating be
necessary. Kayakers, however, are strictly involved with propulsion, and
don't have to constantly be ready to beat their boats into submission.
Hey, canoes have their place. They make fine planters with plenty of room.
Say you want lots of exercise, and there is no better exercise than trying
to paddle a canoe. No doubt someone will mention you can carry a lot of
stuff in a canoe. A barge can carry a lot too. Come to think of it...

Galen Hekhuis NpD, JFR, GWA

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups