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John H.[_5_]

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 22:22:59 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.

One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.

I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.

Wednesdays is league play day. We can't just go shooting balls willy-nilly. Many of
the rounds are team events, and we're always playing for money! Once I came in first
in my division and won a whole $7.
--

Ban idiots, not guns!