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Save Yourself, Save a Jew?
Get your med's adjusted.
"Harry Krause" wrote in message
... [i]
Save A Jew, Save Yourself!
Sixty-five million Evangelicals can't be wrong.
By Mark Ames
IF YOU'RE A JEW, put the paper down now, run to your door and lock it.
If some beaming Ned Flanders type with a big helpful smile on his face
rings your doorbell and says, "Is there a Jew in this house I can hug?"
advise him to vacate the premises immediately, or you will sic upon him
Baal, your starving Rhodesian Ridgeback.
Whatever you do, do not invite the Christian Zionist into your house.
Because as much as he claims to love you and all of your fellow
tribesmen, it's a different kind of love than you might expect. More
like the love that the Manson Family had for Sharon Tate and her party
guests.
Ned and about 65 million other fellow American Evangelical cultists love
Jews for one simple reason: They hope to bundle every [Jew] up,
air-freight them to the West Bank and East Jerusalem (once those areas
have been cleansed of Muslims), and use the Jews as bait to bring upon
the Rapture, as kindling in the Apocalypse, the final battle that will
bring Jesus back to Earth. None of this can happen until every last Jew
is penned into the occupied territories-and the Jews won't get there
unless the far-right runs Israel and America. Currently 65 million
American cultists are using everything in their power, from prayer to
politics, to make this Helter Skelter scenario come true.
Under this Evangelical "end of days" scenario, there's some good news
and some bad news, depending on which cult you belong to.
First, the good news: The Rapture be bery-bery-good to Evangelical
Christians. When that day arrives, they all get sucked up to heaven-
body, clothes, mobile phones and all. Here is a stunning description of
the Rapture in Evangelical cult leader Michael D. Evans' new bestseller,
The American Prophecies (Warner Faith Books, $18.95):
magine for a moment sixty-five million Americans vanishing in the
twinkling of an eye-people flying planes, driving cars, steering ships,
driving trains and subways, manning nuclear power stations and nuclear
silos, navigating submarines filled with nuclear missiles, and so on.
Realize, also, if that happened today, it would take our president.]
If you sense that Evans actually enjoys the thought of nuclear chaos for
those of us left behind, you're absolutely right. Here is his "Dear
Santa" holocaust wish-list, in gradated order: "Yes, this is my hope.
Not that the terrorists get us, nor even that we side with Israel in the
final battle (though I would greatly prefer that to option one!), but
that God gets us—all of us."
Note that Evans, like all Evangelicals, wouldn't mind it if terrorists
got us—it's just that he prefers that God get us first. All of us.
Nuclear weapons and President George W. Bush—and Jews—are the only
earthly things that Evans and his fellow Evangelical cultists genuinely
love. The nukes above all. More than once Evans quotes the lines in
Zechariah that Evangelicals believe prophesy a nuclear holocaust: "Their
flesh shall dissolve while they stand on their feet/Their eyes shall
dissolve in their sockets/And their tongues shall dissolve in their
mouths." (Zechariah 14:12)
A few years after the Rapture comes the Apocalypse. This is the bad-news
part of the Evangelical equation, for some people anyway—the part of the
buddy flick where the one buddy says to the other, "Sorry friend, it was
either you or me."
The funny thing about The American Prophecies is that while Evans quotes
extensively from Zechariah, he leaves out the one passage that every
Evangelical secretly prays for:
And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith Jehovah, two
parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left
therein. And I will bring the third part into the fire, and will refine
them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried.
(Zechariah 13:8, 9)
In other words, two-thirds of the world's Jews, now crammed into the
dusty West Bank, go to the woodchipper, and the surviving third (or
perhaps as few as 144,000, depending on how you read your Bible) gets
forcibly converted to Evangelical Christianity. Number nine, number nine…
This is why Jews should beware. Michael Evans and the 23 percent of the
American population he represents need a Greater Israel in order to get
sucked up into God's DustBuster. But to get to the "end of days," they
need the Jews' cooperation. Which is probably why Evans left this part
of the script out of his book. Today, Evangelicals' strategy is
something like this: "Hey, maybe we've been scaring the Jews away all
these years, with pogroms and quotas and stuff. Maybe if we act all
nice, they'll come out from under the bed and go to Judea and Samara.
Heeeeere Jew-ie Jew-ie. Nice Jewie!"....
More... http://www.nypress.com/17/41/news&columns/feature.cfm
The idiot Bush, of course, is an Evangelical.
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