In my email today:
"Chart-topping ringtones. First one free. Mariah, Cassidy, 50,+ More."

Are there "charts" for ringtone rankings, as Billboard does with music? If
not, are there actually fools who think there is? And, who the fuque needs
Mariah on their phone every time it rings??? I think it's time for a new
federal law which would require the police to completely ignore normal
citizens who are found escorting ringtone purchasers onto boats with cinder
blocks chained to their ankles. The cops would be required to simply verify
that the offending cell phone belongs to the dummy who's about to become
fishing structure, and then look the other way. "That's that....", as the
guy said in the movie "Goodfellas", after putting a bullet in Joe Pesci's
head.

It's a friggin' phone, not a jukebox!

Now....who'll sign the petition to whatever president is elected next time
around?