BoatBanter.com - View Single Post - OT Hey Hairball, The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook

(Christopher Robin) wrote in message . com...
The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

As opposed to right wingers, who think that AIDS is something that God
gave the world to combat all of those heathens who enjoy sex.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

As opposed righties who think sex is horrible, and should only be done
missionary style, with NO sounds.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

As opposed to righties, who don't understand that 95% of violent
criminals in prison either stole or "borrowed" a handgun.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

As opposed to righties, who think art belongs underground. After all,
it's hard for large corporations to monopolize art.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by soccer moms driving SUVs.

As opposed to righties, who, regardless of scientific proof, think
that global warming isn't happening.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.

As opposed to righties being homophobic.

7. You have to be against capital punishment for criminals, even
murderers, but support abortion on demand.

As opposed to the right wanting to kill all criminals, with a minimum
of evidence or trial.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and
governments create prosperity.

As opposed to the right, wanting to give tax breaks to the rich, but
only the rich.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

As opposed to righties, who think that killing all of the animals in
the forest, then cutting the trees, makes them conservationists.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

As opposed to the right, who think that only the richest people
deserve self-esteem.

11. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start
wars.

Nah, we all KNOW that George Bush started this one.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

As opposed to righties, who think the NRA is good because they think
every man, woman and child should possess and use an assault rifle.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

Or, as the righties, you could just tax the working person, and give
tax credits to the richest.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
E.Lee and Thomas Edison.

Nah, Thomas Jefferson is much more important, and would roll over in
his grave if he knew what the republicans are doing to this country.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and really a
very nice person.

She is!

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

As opposed to the new Nazi conservatism?

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a draft-dodging liar and sex offender belonged in the White
House.

Nah, just a lying, war criminal like Bush should be in jail.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

Ever hear of seperation of church and state?

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United
States.

Hmm, let's see, who has the biggest funding? The republicans. Why?
Special interests.

21. You have to refuse to discuss the issues in a rational manner and
whenever someone attempts to do so, throw a 3 ring tantrum, rant and
rave, go into a lunatic rage and outshout them (preferably with
profanity and name-calling) and stick to personal slurs, smear
tactics, slander and building strawmen so you can knock down the
strawmen (oops, sorry, strawpersons) and hopefully sidetrack the
conversation away from your lack of ability to support your position.

Guess you haven't heard Rush and Hannity lately?

22. You must always ignore the message and attack the messenger. When
stuck, remember the tactic that won't reveal your inability to think
or say anything original: smugly change a couple of your adversaries
words' and repeat their comments back to them verbatim and even if it
isn't true, by all means always
be sure to accuse your opponents of using the very tactics the
Leftwing Liberals try to hide, remembering all the while that Lenin
would be proud.

Guess you haven't heard Rush and Hannity lately?

23. No matter how credible a source may be - always do your Leftwing
Liberal duty and rabidly claim it's been debunked and discredited and
call anyone who believes it "mean spirited", crazy, a Nazi or any
other of the monikers from the Leftwing Liberal grab bag of infantile
epithets and sarcastic sobriquets.

Guess you haven't heard Rush and Hannity lately?

24. Whenever demonstrated facts don't agree with your agenda, twist
them and mangle them until you can make them fit into your prejudices,
the media will assist you greatly.

Guess you haven't heard Rush and Hannity lately?

25. Once you've told a lie or slandered someone, be sure to repeat it
as often as possible until it becomes true. "Members and front
organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and degrade our
critics. When obstructionists become too irritating, label them as
fascist, or Nazi or anti-Semitic .... The association will, after
enough repetition, become "fact" in the public mind." [ ~ Communist
Party, Moscow Central Committee, 1943]

Yep, that's Bush all right.

26. You have to believe that all spirituality and all religions except
Islam are bad.

No, Islam is bad, too.

27. You have to use the following buzzwords as often as possible:
"Nazi", "Hitler", "Gestapo", "police state", "totalitarian state",
"imperialism", "imperialist", "greedy corporations", "shrub",
"fascist", "paranoid", "goose-stepping", "ruling-class",
"class-strife", "class warfare", "stolen election", "racist",
"entitlements", "hate", "bourgeois" or better yet, "petty bourgeois",
"counter-revolutionary", "progressive", "red-baiter",
"anti-Communist", "deviationist", "revisionist", "reactionary",
"multiculturalism", "oppressed", "victims of Yankee oppression",
"plight of the [fill in the blank] people", "mean-spirited",
"McCarthyism", "jingoism", "flag-wavers", "neocons" and, of course,
overuse of the indispensable "F"
word.

As opposed to saying, in a tone like spitting venom, "lib", "left",
"yellow-dog", "whiner", "unpatriotic", etc.

28. You have to believe that there were never any weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq, even though they were used against Iran, the
Kurds and the the Iraqi people and even though the many Democrats
warned us about WMD before the Iraqi invasion: William Jefferson
Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Senators
Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, Robert Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry, Bob
Graham, Ted Kennedy, Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman and
vice-president Al Gore to name only the most vociferous.

Or the rights, who don't understand that the dems were GIVEN their
information by BUSH.

29. You have to be a purveyor of perennial pessimism and a dispatcher
of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria whenever you can work some
scare tactics into the foreboding warnings of eventual catastrophe at
the hands of your adversaries, i.e. people who disagree with you.

The sky is falling, the sky is falling.........just like Georring in
Nazi Germany.

30. Whenever possible, if you hear or read something that seems quite
logical and might influence someone against the Leftwing Liberal
viewpoint, be sure to pounce on the exception or some tiny,
inconsequential irrelevancy, such as the misspelling, poor punctuation
or mispronunciation of a word, unusual facial expression, article of
clothing or some morsel of arcane trivia or irrelevant minutia in an
attempt to derail the conversation into petty bickering replete with
name-calling and personal slurs. [Use of the "F" word
is particularly effective, especially when combined with prepubescent
profanity and puerile posturing.]

Nah, that sounds just like John H.

31. Always have unkind and accusatory slurs cocked and ready to use
regarding any armed forces personnel, especially military people in
harm's way other than your own candidates, sell-outs, turncoats,
traitors and those who are guilty of or advocate treason.

Nope, sorry, just the current administration that PUT them in the mess
we are in.

32. When your adversary presents a particularly damning discovery,
pervert it, twist it around, fabricate something out of thin air and
accuse him of something he didn't say, falsely attribute your
invention to him and then proceed to argue against your own creation
with the hope nobody will notice. This is best done by beginning your
remarks with "in other words" or "so what you are suggesting" or "are
you saying that..." followed by the most implausible, irrelevant non
sequitur you can fantasize.

Guess you haven't heard Rush or Hannity lately?

33. You have to remember that nobody but your adversaries, real or
imagined are ever to blame for anything and no one should ever be
accountable or held responsible for their words or actions - they're
just misunderstood.

Oh, man...that's the REPUBLICAN mantra!!!

The rest is just too damned stupid to even comment on.....