"Scotty" wrote in message ...
| Lessee.....I have a lovely wife, two kids, a dog, both parents
| still alive, and numerous other family members, all of whom love
| me. And lots of friends.
|
| YOU add it up.
|
| Scotty


I'm broke, don't have friend in the world, my cat scratched the
crap outta me today, my 'rhoids are acting up again, I've got
almost constant indigestion, I'm about thirty pounds overweight,
bald, suffer from chronic E.D., am getting age spots, my
little pension payment is late, the IRS is auditing me, nobody loves
me, my sailboat gets no respect, my cholesterol is through the roof,
my eyes are getting so bad I can hardly see, I'm practically deaf
in one ear, my church excommunicated me, they revoked my captain's
license because I got a DUI and a doobie fell out of my wallet
when I was getting my suspended driver's license out, I owe
thousands of dollars back child support and alimony, my family
has disowned me, I've failed to reproduce, I'm ugly, I stink,
I have halitosis and strabismus, my repaired boom just broke
again, my blow-up doll had a blow out, the damned comorants
use the deck of my boat for a potty, my dinghy just sprung
a leak, I ate a fish I caught for supper and now I've got
Ciguatera poisioning, just about everybody here in this group
hates me, not even databasix will not have me (it doesn't get
any lower than that, folks), somebody stole my motorcyle, my van
got towed as a wreck and my boat got painted with a big DV
(derelict vessel) number, my beer is hot, my new wind and
depth instruments fried because I hooked them up wrong,
my ISP only works about half the time and I can only connect
to about half the sites I want to go to - even Drudge doesn't
display most of the time, my President is a Democrat in disguise,
I try to listen to Hannity on the radio and all they have on
in Heat basketball, I can't seem to stay awake long enough
to listen to Art Bell and George Nooree any more, my back
hurts, I lost a lottery ticket overboard that was worty 2.7 million
dollars, they refuse to run a tab anymore at the local bar, the
waitresses won't serve me because I can't afford to tip them,
I almost got arrested for dumpster diving at MacDonalds. etc. etc.

But, all in all, life is good!

CN