"Peter Hendra" wrote in message
...

Hi Karin,
Yes I have and I usually do wherever I travel.

However, I have also found that people accept genuine actions from
those of other cultures. The people I work with and have close
association with know me well and accept that it is part of my
culture. A close friend has told me that they actually quite like the
gesture. Bear in mind that sometimes we are in close poximity, 24
hours a day for days on end on small boats and so you get quite close
to some of youir colleagues (no, not that close)and subsequently their
families. Don't get the idea that I rush up to everyone and grab
them. I usually only do it when I haven't seen them for a while or
when leaving for a period such as coming back to this boat such as I
do to my close friends and relations elsewhere. People don't cringe
but just reciprocate the gesture of affection.

Respect for other people's customs is as it should be but it does not
mean that you have to be blind about it. I have read and been told by
foreigners that one should never touch a Malay child's head for
example. I ruffle my neice's and nephews all the time and kiss them on
the forehead. It is not a matter of tolerating my behaviour but one of
accepting my ways as I accept theirs. I noticed after a while that my
son greeted older people by kissing their hand and touiching it to his
fiorehead as the other kids did. He never saw anything strange in it
and we certainly never told him to.

When I worked for China Telecom and attended meetings where foreign
business introduced themselves by presenting their business cards with
two hands, my Chinese colleagues usually made a remark in Chinese
about "another one who has attended the course" (on how to do business
in China). A dog does not eat grass so I passed mine over to the
visitors in return with one hand or pushed it across the table.

When it comes down to it, people are just people and it is far better
to just be yourself in a lot of situations. Others usually accept and
appreciate that.

cheers
Peter

Interesting comments, Peter, and I'm sure you are not your country's version
of "The Ugly American." I have always been exceptionally aware of the image
that too many Americans present when visiting foreign countries, however,
and have always done my best to observe local customs and mores to the best
of my ability. While I doubt that I'd be willing to adopt a burkha in those
Arab countries which expect it of native women, neither would I dress like a
pop tart. But then, I don't anyway. lol

I suspect my natural tendency to touch the heads of children would not serve
me well where Malay children are concerned, and I don't know that I would be
able to supress such a subconscious act -- but I would sure have to try.

The observation about Chinese businessmen strikes me as curious. I should
think that they would appreciate that the foreigners had taken the trouble
to learn and make an attempt to be courteous. In most Asian cultures, I
believe that all gifts should be both offered with, and accepted with, both
hands. Funny that this would be snickered at when done by visitors. Heck, I
even do it in sushi bars. But then, I also bow in my seat when the waiter in
a Denny's brings me my food. Hard to break some habits.