"Paul Cassel" wrote in message
. ..
Wilbur Hubbard wrote:


I understand because you're more like most of the people these days.
But that doesn't make it right or even productive.

Your daughter points out the difference in our outlooks. While your
daughter was anxious about your well-being mine just said, "Have fun,
Daddy, and be careful. I'll see you when you get back."

You raised your daughter to be just like her Dad - a dependent person
who worries. I raised mine to be just like me - an independent person
who doesn't worry. She's somebody who is secure and happy and does
not derive her happiness from an old man and I wouldn't have her any
other way . . .

Look at it this way. When you die your poor daughter will be
grief-stricken and lost while mine will say in her mind, "Fair winds,
Daddy, wherever you may be sailing now. It was good knowing you and I
will always love you for raising me to appreciate the way the world
works and to enjoy the positive and to reject the negative."


Now you know nothing about my dependency or independence. You also
make a great noise about being one salty seaman who is out there
sailing the seas (in what? where? with what crew?) while I know what
I've done. For sure, I can't prove to you that I have spent long time
at sea both with my (now late) wife and singlehanding. I also expect
to be out there again with my new wife.

I can't prove it to you nor can you prove to me that you can tell
which end of an oar goes in the water.

However, the blase claim you make about your daughter's attitude
toward you and even your death is chilling. For you to die and she to
shrug her shoulders and say, "Fair winds" and that's that isn't
natural of humans. Are you autistic? Is your daughter? I"m not teasing
you. Instead I sense in you not only a complete lack of affect, but an
anger to those who show affect.

-paul

I think you're horrified because you think my daughter is young - like
maybe a teenager or younger. It would be weird for a young person like
that to take death so casually. Young people take death of a parent
VERY personally and they do so because they still sorta think they are
the center of the universe. And, that's normal at their age. Nope, I'm
an old fart. My daughter is all grown up and haired over. She's got kids
of her own. She knows people get old and die. She knows I'm doing what I
want to be doing. She knows I have no regrets and she knows she has no
regrets. She lives in the real world and I think that's wonderful.

Any anger you sense on my behalf is a result of the wimpification of men
that's happened in the last sixty or seventy years. I've seen men go
from being men to entire generations of men turning into girly men,
objects of derision, objects of ridicule, the butt of jokes, portraits
of ineptitude, weak, indecisive, telephone to the ear like a security
blanket types. More like women than men. What's next? Hormone injections
to their breasts so they can share nursing the kids? The "men" whose
posts I read here are so far from the men of my youth that's it's
appalling. I'm ashamed of them. Fat, soft, weak, fawning, sensitive,
unassuming, indecisive, ignorant, in need of constant companionship,
dependent, concerned - more female than male.

No, the anger you see me express is anger combined with sorrow and
disgust for the wimpification of men. Not to mention the disgust I feel
for wimpified men who don't seem to realize they shouldn't be living
that way.

Wilbur Hubbard