"HK" wrote in message
...
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to
relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking
all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I
had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She
spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunch time so
I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and
confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts
me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confessed, "I've been thinking ..." "I know you've been thinking," she
said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you
keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of
rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional
drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed
for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking
lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors... They didn't
open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power
was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining
your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a
recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
"Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since
the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at
home.

Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I
think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered
to vote Republican.


- - -


I get such *interesting* email, eh?

Musta been from your sponsor, Doug Kanter. Do You go to meetings together?