Lu Powell wrote:
Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the VFW!"

Guy is in a bar. He sits and has a drink, then says to the bartender,
"Hey, watch this". He pulls a little piano out of his pocket, then a
little tiny man. The man sits at the piano and plays a tune, the
bartender is amazed. After awhile, another guy comes in and several
ducks are following him. The guy with the little man says, where'd you
get the ducks? The guy with the ducks said, "down the street, a genie
granted me one wish". The guy with the little man said "yeah, I got me
this" and shows the other guy the little man and piano. The guy with the
ducks says "well, he screwed up, I didn't ask for a lot of ducks". The
other guy said, "well no ****! You think I asked for a ten inch pianist"?