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(Sail Bum) wrote:

WHY SAILBOATS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Why women are better than sailboats ==
I started on this and ran out of steam (sorry)

Sailboats never choose to get their hair done instead of spending time
with you.

Women don't have to have their brightwork varnished

Sailboats never have a curfew.

You don't have to stand watches - you can sleep together.

Sailboats never break a date.

They just break.

Sailboats never have a headache.

They just give them.

Sailboats are always in the mood.

Except when the weather is bad.

Sailboats are appropriately greeted with a whistle.

A woman can be greeted with a whistle by her SO and the response will
be better than that of a sailboat.

Sailboats never care if you arrive with buddies and choose to spend
the evening playing cards.

Women don't care if you spend the evening playing cards as long as you
win money.

Sailboats will always perform for you to the best of their abilities.
You just need to treat them with care and not interfere with what they
were designed to do.

Women are more of a challenge.

Sailboats, like women, are best maneuvered with a light touch.
However, only a sailboat's response is predictable.

Women's responses can be easily predicted if you know them well (as
explained here where you are predicting their responses to certain
situations) but if not, are more interesting because they are
unpredictable.

Sailboats will tolerate some neglect quite well. However, like some
women, sailboats will try to dump you if you are too heavy handed with
them or neglect their basic needs for too long.

Both sailboats and women like to show their superstructures to best
advantage. Sailboats, however, never complain that they have nothing
to wear.

Other sailors however will look down on you if you have blown out
sails and ratty rigging.

Sailboats, like women, can demand that you spend substantial amounts
of money on their upkeep and maintenance. With sailboats, you are
always guaranteed a good ride afterwards.

Women can explain what you need to buy for them so that you don't
spend hours replacing the wrong component of the engine or electrical
system.

Sailboats never need another pair of shoes.

Just a new set of sails which is usually more expensive.

Sailboats don't give you the cold shoulder after you have not called
or visited for a while.

Except that the engine might not start or the rigging might be fouled.

Sailboats always leave it to you to decide if you want to go out in
foul weather.

Women do too - they just will tell you after you get into trouble that
you were crazy.

Sailboats never complain that you don't talk to them.

Women don't complain when you do talk to them.

You never have to bring a sailboat gifts of flowers, chocolates or
jewelry.

Just radar, GPS, autopilot, SSB etc.

You don't need to romance your sailboat before she'll let you spend
the night.

You only have to find a mooring or get your anchor rode in order.

Sailboats never get pregnant.

Sailboats don't give you a child to sail with.

Sailboats never get PMS.

Sailboats don't sail with no wind.

You cannot catch a sexually transmitted disease from spending time
with many different sailboats.

You can however end up buying totally unsuitable boats and spending
way more money than you intended.

With a sailboat you never need to carry protection.

What do you mean never need to carry protection? What do you call an
anchor rode, charts, and all the other stuff that lets you sail
safely?

A sailboat never gets jealous.

A sailboat is cold and unemotional.

You can always tell a sailboat about other sailboats that you have
sailed.

A sailboat won't answer.

A sailboat never compares you to others who have sailed her.

Yes she does. Sailboats sail better for some people than others. You
just have to be very smart to see that.

A sailboat never fakes it.

A sailboat doesn't have to fake it.

A sailboat looks just as appealing the morning after.

Depends on how much you had to drink.

Nobody is offended if you ask to borrow their sailboat for a romantic
evening or weekend.

Why would anyone lend someone a sailboat?
snip

Sailboats always gratify you with their performance when you custom
fit them with the newest fabrics.

So do women.

Sailboats can always be rented to others by the day or by the hour.

After you get all the proper paperwork and spend a lot of money on
advertising.

In wide open spaces, quality rope or lengths of chain are used to
anchor a sailboat. Imagine trying this with a woman.

Women are better when not anchored.

grandma Rosalie