Yes, they all do great and wonderful things under the control/tutelage of
controlling/demanding parents.

After a few years out of the nest what do they become on their own device?

Take our own CWM. The finest private schools, then on to Harvard. Where has
he ventured when he became captain of his own ship? Someone help shove him
off of the sandbar of life.

The lists of accomplishments, the awards, the schools all mean nothing. They
are simply tools. Some are given great tools but go on to mediocrity.
Others, out of nothing go on to greatness. The psychological torture must be
extreme for those who are supplied with the mightiest of tools and bouyed by
the highest of expectations and go on to find they are happiest in a
position that disappoints all those whose shoulders they stood upon.

The greatest thing a parent can do is arm their child to think for
themselves, to help them find out who and what they are and give them the
courage to pursue and be that. To have a child make up for things a parent
missed out on in life is a neurotic upbringing. The child exists to fill a
void of another person rather than to add another dimension to one's life.
How selfish and cruel!

Amen!

In article , Bob Crantz wrote:
Yes, they all do great and wonderful things under the control/tutelage of
controlling/demanding parents.

After a few years out of the nest what do they become on their own device?

Take our own CWM. The finest private schools, then on to Harvard. Where has
he ventured when he became captain of his own ship? Someone help shove him
off of the sandbar of life.

The lists of accomplishments, the awards, the schools all mean nothing. They
are simply tools. Some are given great tools but go on to mediocrity.
Others, out of nothing go on to greatness. The psychological torture must be
extreme for those who are supplied with the mightiest of tools and bouyed by
the highest of expectations and go on to find they are happiest in a
position that disappoints all those whose shoulders they stood upon.

The greatest thing a parent can do is arm their child to think for
themselves, to help them find out who and what they are and give them the
courage to pursue and be that. To have a child make up for things a parent
missed out on in life is a neurotic upbringing. The child exists to fill a
void of another person rather than to add another dimension to one's life.
How selfish and cruel!

The final paragraph of your post are some of the finest I've ever
read.

--
Capt. JG @@
www.sailnow.com

So, Bob, you don't have any kids, right?

Scotty



"Bob Crantz" wrote in message
...
Yes, they all do great and wonderful things under the
control/tutelage of
controlling/demanding parents.

After a few years out of the nest what do they become on
their own device?

Take our own CWM. The finest private schools, then on to
Harvard. Where has
he ventured when he became captain of his own ship?
Someone help shove him
off of the sandbar of life.

The lists of accomplishments, the awards, the schools all
mean nothing. They
are simply tools. Some are given great tools but go on to
mediocrity.
Others, out of nothing go on to greatness. The
psychological torture must be
extreme for those who are supplied with the mightiest of
tools and bouyed by
the highest of expectations and go on to find they are
happiest in a
position that disappoints all those whose shoulders they
stood upon.

The greatest thing a parent can do is arm their child to
think for
themselves, to help them find out who and what they are
and give them the
courage to pursue and be that. To have a child make up for
things a parent
missed out on in life is a neurotic upbringing. The child
exists to fill a
void of another person rather than to add another
dimension to one's life.
How selfish and cruel!

Amen!

"Scotty" wrote in message
. ..
So, Bob, you don't have any kids, right?

Scotty


How did you know?

Bob, Dave is the only one here prattling on about his daughter's
schooling and career. Notice that he makes no mention of her being
happy. I could care less about what Thomas ends up doing for a career,
so long as it makes him happy. Maybe he'll want to work with wood or
sheet metal, perhaps he'll be a person who loves to cook or clean
windows 40 stories high. If it makes HIM happy, then all is well. Dave
seems happy with his daughter's career and schooling, but I seriously
doubt that he knows if SHE was or is happy now. That type of goal
oriented parenting is typical for the rat-race generation and excactly
why we're living here. As Suzanne said to me two weeks ago, people are
just happier here. Part of it is the children of course, but there's a
myriad of stresses removed from life out of the city that allows for
superior inner focus.
I do hope Dave's daughter is happy. He'll jump in and claim she is.
What else can e say, not knowing the truth?: Let's hope she is.



RB
35s5
NY

I know you understand all this. A good number of your trolls are premised on
others assuming the faulty thinking. Most surprisingly, it works like a
charm.

Here's something to think about. It's all nice to move out to the "country"
and it is all the things you say, especially in recent contrast to NYC. It
may take a decade or two but you will realize something. You may move back
to the city, retain the inner peace of the country lifestyle and appreciate
even more what the city has to offer.

One thing with living out there is that you are ever more dependent on
technology on a first hand basis. You can't live without a car. Time spent
commuting to places(which are now further away) takes out of your life. The
choices are less, quality tends to be lower. You'll find the people moving
in are bringing the city with them. The people who lived for 10 years or
more will complain about how the place has changed and in ten years you will
too.

It's rare that a parent first mentions their son/daughter is happy or
mentions it at all. They will usually start to pursue happiness on the day
they retire. "I always wanted to ..." they say and then go on to try it, if
their bodies/health/financial status are capable of it. I've seen too many
former executives at retirement out trying to run/get fit and make up for a
long life of absence or neglect. Why suffer through 85% of your life to try
to make the last 15% liveable?

All this rat race stuff feeds off of itself. Employees are pushed to work
excess overtime for what? Stress, missing the family and not having a life
outside of work. They have become beasts of burden. The stress on
consumption, the emphasis on all growth is good has its human toll. Why does
health care cost so much? Because so much health care is needed. I venture
to say that 70% of all health problems are directly related to workplace
induced stress and rat race mentality.

If people learned to live on less, they would have so much more. That is
why the good Capt Neal is such a role model. An unfettered life, simply and
well lived. You yourself even mentioned a few times that the simple things
the good Capt experiences are lifetime treasures, the things others want
after toiling their entire lives away. Why do they do such things? It is
because they lost sight on the basics - happiness and contentment. I'm not
talking about momentary diversions or escapes but rather a life of simple
honesty to oneself , an acknowledgement of reality and the courage to pursue
it. Is it no wonder that the healthiest people are usually the happiest?

Here's something to think about. It's all nice to move out to the
"country"
and it is all the things you say, especially in recent contrast to
NYC. It
may take a decade or two but you will realize something. You may move
back
to the city, retain the inner peace of the country lifestyle and
appreciate
even more what the city has to offer.

Perhaps, but I seriously doubt it.


One thing with living out there is that you are ever more dependent
on
technology on a first hand basis. You can't live without a car.


I could not live without a car in Manhattan or Queens.

Time spent
commuting to places(which are now further away) takes out of your
life.

Every place I go to is a bit further away, but I park easily and find
I'm done faster because population density is far less. That means
less stress and better health.


The
choices are less, quality tends to be lower.

The grocery stores out here are amazing, far better than anything I
saw in the city EVER. Restaurants are great, but we're cooking more
and eating better. I lost 11 lbs since we got here. And once
again....we all feel better.


You'll find the people moving
in are bringing the city with them.

NO one can build where we are. We're on watershed land.


The people who lived for 10 years or
more will complain about how the place has changed and in ten years
you will
too.


Just the opposite. Today we spent some time with a neighbor who took
us to a few local parks for Thomas, He commented how the area, while a
bit more developed (and certainly far more expensive) was still the
same place he sought 25 years ago when he was a fireman commuting to
NYC. And our community cannot be built on in any way.


It's rare that a parent first mentions their son/daughter is happy
or
mentions it at all.They will usually start to pursue happiness on the
day
they retire.

That's very sad and not at all how we work. We're having fun now and
in every way possible. Suzanne wants to know when I plan to build my
own observatory! Why wait until I'm 70? Why wait 10 more years for a
C&C 99? Thomas has no financial worries, so NOW is the time to enjoy
and expand on life while we're young and strong. We're planning a 6
week trip to Greece. Suzanne wants a pond. We're having a LOT of fun,
so much so that I really can't beleive each day.


Why suffer through 85% of your life to try
to make the last 15% liveable?


That's a question to ask Dave. That guy has more regrets than Paris
Hilton has genital warts.


If people learned to live on less, they would have so much more.
That is
why the good Capt Neal is such a role model.

Ah, a good point at last.


An unfettered life, simply and
well lived.


There is fetterment of denial and weight of isolation. We can only
hope he copes in some way.



an acknowledgement of reality and the courage to pursue
it. Is it no wonder that the healthiest people are usually the
happiest?

Sound and well made points, Bob.
Now I need to cut some support posts for my new theatre screen.
Goodnight, sir.


RB
35s5
NY

"Capt. Rob" wrote in message
oups.com...
Here's something to think about. It's all nice to move out to the
"country"
and it is all the things you say, especially in recent contrast to
NYC. It
may take a decade or two but you will realize something. You may move
back
to the city, retain the inner peace of the country lifestyle and
appreciate
even more what the city has to offer.

Perhaps, but I seriously doubt it.


Then you have not attained inner peace and wisdom.


One thing with living out there is that you are ever more dependent
on
technology on a first hand basis. You can't live without a car.


I could not live without a car in Manhattan or Queens.

Then you were part of the problem.


Time spent
commuting to places(which are now further away) takes out of your
life.

Every place I go to is a bit further away, but I park easily and find
I'm done faster because population density is far less. That means
less stress and better health.

It also means more resources used for the same result.




The
choices are less, quality tends to be lower.

The grocery stores out here are amazing, far better than anything I
saw in the city EVER. Restaurants are great, but we're cooking more
and eating better. I lost 11 lbs since we got here. And once
again....we all feel better.


You lost 11 pounds because food wasn't around the corner. How is the
selection at the local Tiffany's?


You'll find the people moving
in are bringing the city with them.

NO one can build where we are. We're on watershed land.



The people who lived for 10 years or
more will complain about how the place has changed and in ten years
you will
too.


Just the opposite. Today we spent some time with a neighbor who took
us to a few local parks for Thomas, He commented how the area, while a
bit more developed (and certainly far more expensive) was still the
same place he sought 25 years ago when he was a fireman commuting to
NYC. And our community cannot be built on in any way.

But you own three lots prime for development!



It's rare that a parent first mentions their son/daughter is happy
or
mentions it at all.They will usually start to pursue happiness on the
day
they retire.

That's very sad and not at all how we work. We're having fun now and
in every way possible. Suzanne wants to know when I plan to build my
own observatory! Why wait until I'm 70? Why wait 10 more years for a
C&C 99? Thomas has no financial worries, so NOW is the time to enjoy
and expand on life while we're young and strong. We're planning a 6
week trip to Greece. Suzanne wants a pond. We're having a LOT of fun,
so much so that I really can't beleive each day.

Build a water containment facility on watershed land? What are the insurance
costs for your dam? I'm surprised that is even allowed where you are at.


Sound and well made points, Bob.
Now I need to cut some support posts for my new theatre screen.

At least that may add some fun back to you that has been drained away by
knowing you could of had a C&C 99.