On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:

On Jan 13, 10:25 am, wrote:
On Jan 12, 6:40 pm, "Don White" wrote:



"Frogwatch" wrote in message

...

On Jan 12, 4:37 pm, Frogwatch wrote:
On Jan 12, 4:23 pm, John H wrote:

On Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:41:02 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:
After months of screwing around and dropping expensive parts in the
water I managed to reinstall my roller furling on my sailboat. It
went incredibly smoothly this time whereas every other time I tried it
was a fiasco.

Congrats!

Actually, I think the cool weather helped. When I am on the dock in
the summer and it is 100 degrees and nearly 99% humidity and I am
staring up the mast toward the sun my ability to process problems gets
worse. In the cool weather, everything seems much easier. Also, I
ALWAYS do things much better when I am by myself. Having "help" makes
some things nearly impossible for me (yes, I know, it is a personality
flaw). Doing this during the week meant there was nobody on the dock
to volunteer to help so everything went well (weird, I know but true).
NOW, I can go sailing.

This brings up a problem I have and I wonder if others have it.

My wife often says "When you go to work on the boat you ought to take
so and so to help" or "So and so would love to help you work on the
boat", sometimes this will mean my son or daughter or some friend and
most of the time I go alone because I know that with anybody else
along I will get almost nothing done. Even with an extra set of hands
I accomplish less than if I was alone.
This even carries over into the rest of life. For example, right now
I am building a fence to keep the dogs in the yard and my wife keeps
saying our son should help me and I agree he should but I dont know
what I am doing so how can I tell him what to do? For me, it is
easier to figure out a way to do something alone than to figure out
how to use help.
I know this is a problem but I simply do not see how to get around
it. My wife has no problem ordering people to do things but she
simply gets nothing done in spite of it.
Surely, there must be a way to utilize people's help but I simply do
not see it.

Look at it as a shared experience. your son/daughter may surprise you with
a good suggestion or two.
At the very least you are helping a bit with their education.
I might try that this summer as I paint my house.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

You'll share your experience of fetching your son more beer while you
paint the house?

Sometimes it sure seems like I am heading in that direction. I know I
was less than enthusiastic about things my dad needed done when I was
that age too but somehow learned how to do things right.
My son wants a car but of course I will not contribute to him buying
one. We have two old trucks that run and cost almost nothing except
for gas and insurance. Of course they need repairs and as I have a
new trruck I have no motivation to repair the old ones.
So, I said, I will buy the parts to make repairs if he will install
the parts and I will advise. So, he needs to put the driveshaft back
on after replacing the u-joints.

Nick: Dad, I cant crawl under the truck, its too low.
Me: (thinking I know this is BS cuz I can get under it) OK, lets go
see

We go crawl under it, so its a little uncomfortable in the rocky
driveway, no need to be wimpy. I hand him the bolts as he installs
them. Unfortunately, the circlips dont go on and I realize one of the
bearings has fallen under the u-joint so we have to take it off again.

Nick: We cant just leave it?
Me: You want the shaft to fall off again when you are on another
date?

That was a few days ago and it has been sitting there since. I think
I will just have to order him to do it.

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.
When he looks at cars, he wants something that looks great and does
not require any work. I found the coolest 1960 Willy's jeep truck
with flathead 6 engine for very little, easiest thing ever to work on,
so damned simple I almost lust to be working on it. We could sell the
old Nissan and old Dodge and buy that and it would be soooooo cool, he
has no interest.

How old is the kid? If he's in his teens, which is what it sounds like,
then he automatically doesn't want to do what you like. It's called
adolescence. He'll grow out of it, when he gets to be about 26.

My dad was a mechanic at work, and he did a lot of car fixing at home. It
was a way to bring in a little extra. My parents didn't believe in
abortion, so I have four brothers.

I was the oldest, and should have learned to work on cars. But, I had no
interest. I *did* enjoy squirrel hunting and fishing with him though.

On Jan 13, 11:05*am, Frogwatch wrote:
On Jan 13, 10:25 am, wrote:





On Jan 12, 6:40 pm, "Don White" wrote:

"Frogwatch" wrote in message

....

On Jan 12, 4:37 pm, Frogwatch wrote:
On Jan 12, 4:23 pm, John H wrote:

On Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:41:02 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:
After months of screwing around and dropping expensive parts in the
water I managed to reinstall my roller furling on my sailboat. *It
went incredibly smoothly this time whereas every other time I tried it
was a fiasco.

Congrats!

Actually, I think the cool weather helped. *When I am on the dock in
the summer and it is 100 degrees and nearly 99% humidity and I am
staring up the mast toward the sun my ability to process problems gets
worse. *In the cool weather, everything seems much easier. *Also, I
ALWAYS do things much better when I am by myself. *Having "help" makes
some things nearly impossible for me (yes, I know, it is a personality
flaw). *Doing this during the week meant there was nobody on the dock
to volunteer to help so everything went well (weird, I know but true).
NOW, I can go sailing.

This brings up a problem I have and I wonder if others have it.

My wife often says "When you go to work on the boat you ought to take
so and so to help" or "So and so would love to help you work on the
boat", sometimes this will mean my son or daughter or some friend and
most of the time I go alone because I know that with anybody else
along I will get almost nothing done. *Even with an extra set of hands
I accomplish less than if I was alone.
This even carries over into the rest of life. *For example, right now
I am building a fence to keep the dogs in the yard and my wife keeps
saying our son should help me and I agree he should but I dont know
what I am doing so how can I tell him what to do? *For me, it is
easier to figure out a way to do something alone than to figure out
how to use help.
I know this is a problem but I simply do not see how to get around
it. *My wife has no problem ordering people to do things but she
simply gets nothing done in spite of it.
Surely, there must be a way to utilize people's help but I simply do
not see it.

Look at it as a shared experience. *your son/daughter may surprise you with
a good suggestion or two.
At the very least you are helping a bit with their education.
I might try that this summer as I paint my house.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

You'll share your experience of fetching your son more beer while you
paint the house?

Sometimes it sure seems like I am heading in that direction. *I know I
was less than enthusiastic about things my dad needed done when I was
that age too but somehow learned how to do things right.
My son wants a car but of course I will not contribute to him buying
one. *We have two old trucks that run and cost almost nothing except
for gas and insurance. *Of course they need repairs and as I have a
new trruck I have no motivation to repair the old ones.
So, I said, I will buy the parts to make repairs if he will install
the parts and I will advise. *So, he needs to put the driveshaft back
on after replacing the u-joints.

Nick: *Dad, I cant crawl under the truck, its too low.
Me: *(thinking I know this is BS cuz I can get under it) *OK, lets go
see

We go crawl under it, so its a little uncomfortable in the rocky
driveway, no need to be wimpy. *I hand him the bolts as he installs
them. *Unfortunately, the circlips dont go on and I realize one of the
bearings has fallen under the u-joint so we have to take it off again.

Nick: *We cant just leave it?
Me: *You want the shaft to fall off again when you are on another
date?

That was a few days ago and it has been sitting there since. *I think
I will just have to order him to do it.

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.
*When he looks at cars, he wants something that looks great and does
not require any work. *I found the coolest 1960 Willy's jeep truck
with flathead 6 engine for very little, easiest thing ever to work on,
so damned simple I almost lust to be working on it. *We could sell the
old Nissan and old Dodge and buy that and it would be soooooo cool, he
has no interest.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I was the same way, I loved working on cars, motorcycles, snowmobiles,
anything!

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:


When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.

That's just how it is. Had one son who never wanted to do it, one who
would only tinker, and one who would dive in.
They took different paths, and applied themselves to what they liked.
If you try to command them to do something they don't enjoy doing
they'll like it even less.
My favorite Ann Landers writ:
"Your children don't come from you, they come through you."
f you ask, I'll tell you my second and third favorites.

--Vic

On Jan 13, 2:56 pm, Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.

That's just how it is. Had one son who never wanted to do it, one who
would only tinker, and one who would dive in.
They took different paths, and applied themselves to what they liked.
If you try to command them to do something they don't enjoy doing
they'll like it even less.
My favorite Ann Landers writ:
"Your children don't come from you, they come through you."
f you ask, I'll tell you my second and third favorites.

--Vic

Dang, this evening he was actually helpful with the fence.

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:47:35 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:

On Jan 13, 2:56 pm, Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.

That's just how it is. Had one son who never wanted to do it, one who
would only tinker, and one who would dive in.
They took different paths, and applied themselves to what they liked.
If you try to command them to do something they don't enjoy doing
they'll like it even less.
My favorite Ann Landers writ:
"Your children don't come from you, they come through you."
f you ask, I'll tell you my second and third favorites.

--Vic

Dang, this evening he was actually helpful with the fence.

Toldja. What'd you have him do?

On Jan 13, 9:32 pm, John H wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:47:35 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch



wrote:
On Jan 13, 2:56 pm, Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.

That's just how it is. Had one son who never wanted to do it, one who
would only tinker, and one who would dive in.
They took different paths, and applied themselves to what they liked.
If you try to command them to do something they don't enjoy doing
they'll like it even less.
My favorite Ann Landers writ:
"Your children don't come from you, they come through you."
f you ask, I'll tell you my second and third favorites.

--Vic

Dang, this evening he was actually helpful with the fence.

Toldja. What'd you have him do?

He manhandled the huge roll of wire and nailed it in place to the end
posts while I found the come-along to stretch it. He didnt even
complain when I found we had installed the fence upside down (holes at
bottom are smaller and get bigger toward top) and had to turn it all
over. It was actually pleasant, wierd.

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:59:18 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:

On Jan 13, 9:32 pm, John H wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:47:35 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch



wrote:
On Jan 13, 2:56 pm, Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:05:05 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch

wrote:

When I was that age I craved doing mechanical stuff but he seems to
hate it.

That's just how it is. Had one son who never wanted to do it, one who
would only tinker, and one who would dive in.
They took different paths, and applied themselves to what they liked.
If you try to command them to do something they don't enjoy doing
they'll like it even less.
My favorite Ann Landers writ:
"Your children don't come from you, they come through you."
f you ask, I'll tell you my second and third favorites.

--Vic

Dang, this evening he was actually helpful with the fence.

Toldja. What'd you have him do?

He manhandled the huge roll of wire and nailed it in place to the end
posts while I found the come-along to stretch it. He didnt even
complain when I found we had installed the fence upside down (holes at
bottom are smaller and get bigger toward top) and had to turn it all
over. It was actually pleasant, wierd.

You've never said how old this guy is.