Segboat
 

The most revolutionary thing on water since the hollowed log. An
amazing device that will totally alter how you view water
transportation. In the future, you will no longer go to the store in
a car to get your gallon of milk, nor will you ride an uncomfortable
bicycle that is a real danger when you fall off. Introducing my most
amazing new invention..................The ASTONISHING truly amazing
stupendous.......SegBoat. Yes, it is always balances with long
outriggers so you cannot turn it over. It features ergonomic paddles
for maximum thrust with not much effort. All you have to do is to
lobby your govt to replace those environmentally unsound "roads" with
canals. Yes, we can even grow fish in them
Soon to be available at govt sponsored dealers near you nationwide.