08/08/09 - 2054 EDT

whitehouse.gov - RELEASE IMMEDIATELY

In order to address public concern with the federal government's
proposals for health care reform and building upon the success of the
popular "Cash for Clunkers" program, the Obama administration is proud
to announce "Cash for Codgers".

Each senior in your household (aged 65 or above) may be turned for a
$4,500 instant cash reward at a conveniently located Senior Turn-In
Center near you.

Each Senior will be disposed of humanely, using an intravenous drip
consisting of a saline, morphine, short-acting barbiturate and a
chemical paralytic solution.

President Obama praised the proposal, calling it an "elegant and
humane way to solve the health care crisis and Medicare spending
deficits".