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#1
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
September 7, 2011
Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a sneak preview of Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today unveiled an ambitious plan to cut trillions from the Federal budget by repealing the twentieth century. “Wasteful programs such as Medicare, Social Security, and school lunches for poor children all got their start in that infernal century,” the GOP frontrunner told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Austin. “So if you want to cut the budget, the only way to do that is for every man, woman and child in this country to travel back in time.” While acknowledging that his proposal was unorthodox, Gov. Perry said he was confident that time-travel was possible because “I saw Superman do it in a movie one time.” “And I’ve got someone even mightier than Superman to help me out with this,” he said. “Fella by the name of God.” Gov. Perry said that at an appointed time, he would ask every American to pray to God to send the country back to the nineteenth century: “Basically you just need to click your heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home.’” The presidential hopeful said he knew that critics would be skeptical of his plan, but added that he was “living proof” that it was possible to travel back in time: “For example, my haircut is from 1975.” Shortly after his speech, rival candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) blasted Gov. Perry for borrowing from her own plan to take the country back to the Middle Ages. But in a positive piece of news for the Texas Governor, a new poll shows him leading the pack among voters who describe themselves as delusional. From Andy Borowitz, the funniest political commentator, period. -- I'd much rather be a champion of the powerless than a lickspittle of the powerful. |
#2
posted to rec.boats
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
On 9/7/11 7:48 AM, X ` Man wrote:
September 7, 2011 Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a sneak preview of Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today unveiled an ambitious plan to cut trillions from the Federal budget by repealing the twentieth century. “Wasteful programs such as Medicare, Social Security, and school lunches for poor children all got their start in that infernal century,” the GOP frontrunner told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Austin. “So if you want to cut the budget, the only way to do that is for every man, woman and child in this country to travel back in time.” While acknowledging that his proposal was unorthodox, Gov. Perry said he was confident that time-travel was possible because “I saw Superman do it in a movie one time.” “And I’ve got someone even mightier than Superman to help me out with this,” he said. “Fella by the name of God.” Gov. Perry said that at an appointed time, he would ask every American to pray to God to send the country back to the nineteenth century: “Basically you just need to click your heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home.’” The presidential hopeful said he knew that critics would be skeptical of his plan, but added that he was “living proof” that it was possible to travel back in time: “For example, my haircut is from 1975.” Shortly after his speech, rival candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) blasted Gov. Perry for borrowing from her own plan to take the country back to the Middle Ages. But in a positive piece of news for the Texas Governor, a new poll shows him leading the pack among voters who describe themselves as delusional. From Andy Borowitz, the funniest political commentator, period. I thought you preferred the intellectual discourse in Facebook. It looks like you have lost all of your Facebook "friends" and have to post your drivel over here. |
#3
posted to rec.boats
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
On 9/7/11 7:59 AM, Your Name Here wrote:
On 9/7/11 7:48 AM, X ` Man wrote: September 7, 2011 Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a sneak preview of Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today unveiled an ambitious plan to cut trillions from the Federal budget by repealing the twentieth century. “Wasteful programs such as Medicare, Social Security, and school lunches for poor children all got their start in that infernal century,” the GOP frontrunner told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Austin. “So if you want to cut the budget, the only way to do that is for every man, woman and child in this country to travel back in time.” While acknowledging that his proposal was unorthodox, Gov. Perry said he was confident that time-travel was possible because “I saw Superman do it in a movie one time.” “And I’ve got someone even mightier than Superman to help me out with this,” he said. “Fella by the name of God.” Gov. Perry said that at an appointed time, he would ask every American to pray to God to send the country back to the nineteenth century: “Basically you just need to click your heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home.’” The presidential hopeful said he knew that critics would be skeptical of his plan, but added that he was “living proof” that it was possible to travel back in time: “For example, my haircut is from 1975.” Shortly after his speech, rival candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) blasted Gov. Perry for borrowing from her own plan to take the country back to the Middle Ages. But in a positive piece of news for the Texas Governor, a new poll shows him leading the pack among voters who describe themselves as delusional. From Andy Borowitz, the funniest political commentator, period. I thought you preferred the intellectual discourse in Facebook. It looks like you have lost all of your Facebook "friends" and have to post your drivel over here. Thanks for the bump, Loogy. -- I'd much rather be a champion of the powerless than a lickspittle of the powerful. |
#4
posted to rec.boats
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
X ` Man wrote:
September 7, 2011 Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a sneak preview of Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today unveiled an ambitious plan to cut trillions from the Federal budget by repealing the twentieth century. “Wasteful programs such as Medicare, Social Security, and school lunches for poor children all got their start in that infernal century,” the GOP frontrunner told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Austin. “So if you want to cut the budget, the only way to do that is for every man, woman and child in this country to travel back in time.” While acknowledging that his proposal was unorthodox, Gov. Perry said he was confident that time-travel was possible because “I saw Superman do it in a movie one time.” “And I’ve got someone even mightier than Superman to help me out with this,” he said. “Fella by the name of God.” Gov. Perry said that at an appointed time, he would ask every American to pray to God to send the country back to the nineteenth century: “Basically you just need to click your heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home.’” The presidential hopeful said he knew that critics would be skeptical of his plan, but added that he was “living proof” that it was possible to travel back in time: “For example, my haircut is from 1975.” Shortly after his speech, rival candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) blasted Gov. Perry for borrowing from her own plan to take the country back to the Middle Ages. But in a positive piece of news for the Texas Governor, a new poll shows him leading the pack among voters who describe themselves as delusional. From Andy Borowitz, the funniest political commentator, period. You find that funny? That was lame as hell, silly boy! -HB http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/0..._n_831278.html |
#5
posted to rec.boats
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
On 07/09/2011 5:48 AM, X ` Man wrote:
September 7, 2011 Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God I can smell your fleabagger fear from here. Just have Bernanke electronically counterfiet more debt for your kids eh? No longer any need to pay your bills with real money, Obama will borrow it.... Your a greedy selfish slug. Time you low life debt welshers start paying your bills with real money. -- First rule of holes: If your in one, don't keep digging. So in the hole, why do we insanely want more debt? |
#6
posted to rec.boats
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Perry's Bold Proposal for America
On Thu, 08 Sep 2011 16:26:04 -0600, Canuck57
wrote: On 07/09/2011 5:48 AM, X ` Man wrote: September 7, 2011 Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century Cost-cutting Plan Involves Time-travel, God I can smell your fleabagger fear from here. Just have Bernanke electronically counterfiet more debt for your kids eh? No longer any need to pay your bills with real money, Obama will borrow it.... Your a greedy selfish slug. Time you low life debt welshers start paying your bills with real money. What you smell is the flea powder your neighbors finally used on you while you were asleep. |
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