Wilko wrote:



Frederick Burroughs wrote:

John Fereira wrote:

I once answered an ex-girlfriends question that "yes, those pants did
make her ass look big"


And, you lived to tell of the tail.


Tail or tale? :-)


Either orb.




--
"This president has destroyed the country, the economy,
the relationship with the rest of the world.
He's a monster in the White House. He should resign."

- Hunter S. Thompson, speaking to an antiwar audience in 2003.

"Frederick Burroughs" wrote in message
...
Wilko wrote:



Frederick Burroughs wrote:

John Fereira wrote:

I once answered an ex-girlfriends question that "yes, those pants did
make her ass look big"


And, you lived to tell of the tail.


Tail or tale? :-)


Either orb.



Yeah, butt which was it?

--riverman

riverman wrote:

"Frederick Burroughs" wrote:

Wilko wrote:

Frederick Burroughs wrote:

John Fereira wrote:

I once answered an ex-girlfriends question that "yes, those pants did
make her ass look big"

And, you lived to tell of the tail.

Tail or tale? :-)

Either orb.

Yeah, butt which was it?


I'll have to sit and think on it a while.





--
"This president has destroyed the country, the economy,
the relationship with the rest of the world.
He's a monster in the White House. He should resign."

- Hunter S. Thompson, speaking to an antiwar audience in 2003.

Frederick Burroughs wrote:
riverman wrote:

"Frederick Burroughs" wrote:

Wilko wrote:

Frederick Burroughs wrote:

John Fereira wrote:

I once answered an ex-girlfriends question that "yes, those
pants did
make her ass look big"

And, you lived to tell of the tail.

Tail or tale? :-)

Either orb.

Yeah, butt which was it?


I'll have to sit and think on it a while.





--
"This president has destroyed the country, the economy,
the relationship with the rest of the world.
He's a monster in the White House. He should resign."

- Hunter S. Thompson, speaking to an antiwar audience in 2003.

If you are setting on it, don't just think about it! TnT

Tinkerntom wrote:

Frederick Burroughs wrote:

riverman wrote:

"Frederick Burroughs" wrote:

Wilko wrote:

Frederick Burroughs wrote:

John Fereira wrote:

I once answered an ex-girlfriends question that "yes, those
pants did

make her ass look big"

And, you lived to tell of the tail.

Tail or tale? :-)

Either orb.

Yeah, butt which was it?

I'll have to sit and think on it a while.

If you are setting on it, don't just think about it!


Yeah! Shake, shake, shake. Shake yer boaty.





--
"This president has destroyed the country, the economy,
the relationship with the rest of the world.
He's a monster in the White House. He should resign."

- Hunter S. Thompson, speaking to an antiwar audience in 2003.

Tinkerntom wrote:
Frederick Burroughs wrote:
Tinkerntom wrote:

Frederick Burroughs wrote:

Here, just breath normally. There's plenty of smoke to go around.
Don't try to hold your breath. The contact buzz will still get
you.
See:
http://www.user.shentel.net/riburr/p...ng070401b.html


But I don't like any smoke! In fact, I don't like anything, that
dulls
me to the wonderful feeling of being alive. If you have never
died,
you
may not be familiar with the extreme delight of being alive!
Apparently
Thompson did not share that delight! Maybe to much smoke? TnT


HST(hompson), by his own count, was documented to have died sixteen
times by 2003. Unfortunately he wasn't able to perform the final
tally


Well as I have been reading the various post, and realizing, how many
times I expect I was playing tag with the grim reaper, I thought of
two
particular incidents that got my attention.

The first, during College, I was driving an ambulance to pay the
bills.
On one particular job, I was transporting a shell shock patient from
WW2, down to FT. Sill for treatment. Now on the way down there, there
were signs that warned you " Do Not Stop, No Parking", and "Don't
drive
into the Smoke". Seems that they did tank maneuvers out there, and
would drive the big 70 ton tanks right across the road under cover of
smoke, and going hell bent for leather. Only a short time previous
they
had an incident where some cars where crushed by a tank while waiting
for the smoke to clear.

Anyway as I was driving my way down to the fort hospital, there was
alot of smoke this particular trip, and my passenger was getting very
agitated, probably had something to do with flashbacks. At some
point,
he worked his restraints loose, and decided he wanted to drive the
ambulance. The only thing I had going for me was I exclusivily
controlled the brake, and managed to throw the keys out the window.
Then it was katy-bar-the-door, as to who was going to drive the
ambulance. He was manaically strong is all I can say. We fought and
rolled and wrestled from one end of the ambulance to the other and
back! Hitting and scraping and biting like I had never fought. Out
there in the middle of nowhere, and all of a sudden the smoke
surrounded the ambulance so thick you could not see 10 feet out from
the window.

Then I heard the tanks going by a 50 to 70 mph. so close you could
reach out and touch them. Not that I tried, I was still to busy
fighting the dude in the back of my ambulance. He was slowly wearing
down though, and I don't know whether it was my youth or the fact
that
my adrenaline meter red lined, but I finally got him back in the
wheelchair with restraints doubled, and if they were too tight, I
don't
know if at that point I really cared.

I crawled out of the ambulance, with my knees knocking, and found the
keys. The whole time the tanks are still going by me, and I to this
day
don't know how they missed us. I got going down the road, as soon as
I
could and got out of there. Got him to the hosbital, treated or
whatever, and got him back to OKC to the VA hospital there.

Turns out, they were evaluating him to go home, after what, 30 years
in
the hospital. I don't know why they had to send him 60 miles down to
FT
Sill, but they did.

As I got back, and was unloading him out of the ambulance, his wife,
who had been supposedly waiting for him all those years, met us with
a
shotgun. She shot him dead, point blank, right there in front of me
in
my wheelchair, not a foot from where I was standing, and then shot
herself to death as well. Seems from a note we found, that she did
not
want him coming home because it would mean the end of some sort of
financial support that she got as long as he was in the VA Hospital.
She figured she couldn't continue to live, so she might as well end
it
all.

That was one messed up day, and the last day I drove the ambulance!
Remembering the story, I think I will have to hold off on the second,
Tnt

Ok, I will try my second story now. This actually happened before,
working on the ambulance, but still while in college, and probably has
a boating application.

I was working down in North Texas on a seismagraph crew. Over three
years, we shot a line across the Texas Panhandle, all the way across
Oklahoma, and 120 miles across Arkansas, as straight as you could walk.
And I walked a good part of it 3 or 4 times.

Well we were out in western Oklahoma one summer afternoon, and the
tornadoes were thick, from where we were working, we could count 13
different spouts working their way across the flat badlands. Now it
looked flat, but it was actually all cut up into canyons, maybe 40 to
50 feet deep. You could easily drive 5 miles trying to go 1 mile, and
so there was no hope of outrunning one of these monsters.

When the tornadoes headed our way, and got to close, someone decided
that we should get down in one of the canyons and let the storm go over
us. Sure enough we could look right up into the center of the spout as
it went over, and though it was still pretty breezy, nothing like what
was going on at ground level, where 100 year old oak trees got pulled
out of the ground by their roots. The swath of total destruction was
oftentimes only a few yards wide, to a couple of hundred, and nothing
would survive intact.

Well after the storm went over, we drove our 4 trucks, and 10 guys back
up on the rim to see whether there were any more storms coming. We had
barely got out of the canyon when we heard what sounded like a freight
train. We saw the 50 ft wall of water, a flash flood coming down
through the canyon we had just seconds before been setting in. We all
stopped just feet from the edge of that canyon, that was now full of
water and contemplated what would have happened if we had still been
down there.

I can tell you this, there was not a lot of bravado going on then, and
narry a dry eye, or pair of dry shorts the rest of that day.

The canyon afterwards, was also changed. The road was gone, all the
trees were gone, and all the sand that had built up over how long was
gone, it was all scraped down to bedrock. There was a strange quietness
about it as well that seemed to be saying that something strange
happened here.

In the course of our work we probably had to drive through that canyon
everyday for a month, and it never failed to get your attention as you
are driving along on the road, and drop down in the canyon, where the
road disappeared, and a person would think back.

With the boating season upon us, watch out for canyons and flash
floods. Oh yeah, don't forget the tornadoes either!