The J Man Runs Down The Democratic Primary
Date: Friday, February 06 @ 14:38:54
Topic 2004 US Election


Acerbic self-publisher/commentator/evangelist The J Man issues his
thoughts on the Democratic presidential contenders. Originally posted to Jim
Goad's NetJerk Lounge.
Howard Dean: The little doctor from the little state must now realize
he is in way over his head. . .he lived in a cyber fantasy world for months,
accumulating stacks of cash from internet peaceniks scattered across the
country. . .his already over-inflated ego grew to Bush-like proportions
after being built up by the Media as the anointed one. . .but when he had to
convince flesh-and-blood ****-kickers from the cornbelt to cast real votes,
he lost badly to a supreme hypocrite and a Dan Quayle clone. Of course, Dean
had more than a little trouble dealing with this reality. . .his concession
speech, a demoniac's geography bee, has now made him an international
laughingstock. . .his 20+ point lead over Kerry in New Hampshire has already
evaporated. . .Dean will be remembered as the Titanic of presidential
contenders. . .after his embarrassing loss in New Hampshire, he should do
the smart thing and call it a night, pocketing the unspent tens of millions
of dollars he has raised. . .then he can buy himself a little island
somewhere and live out his days in seclusion, protecting his fragile ego
from reminders of his humiliating failure.

General Wesley the Rabbi Clark: Ha ha ha. Amerika has a two party
system? Clark is a democrat? Ha ha ha. Michael Moore & Madonna love this
guy. . .this lunatic rabbi who almost started WW III in Kosovo and who
allowed the tanks to be used in Waco. . .poor Michael Moore. . .he's a fat
man from Flint, Michigan who means well. . .he rightly despises Bush. . .but
his hatred has caused him to sell his soul on this one. . .he thinks the
only way dumb, frightened Amerikans would vote for a Democrat over Bush is
if the Democrats had somebody with credibility on national security issues.
.. .so who better than a war criminal general? Clark is the most shameless,
power-mad candidate I've ever seen. . .supposedly a political novice, but he
can pander with the best of them. . .check him out looking faggy on the
cover of The Advocate. How did Clark ever connect with Madonna? Well, he
must have shocked and awed the kabbalah-loving reformed tramp with his
kosher resume. . .it worked when he visited a Brooklyn yeshiva and told the
students, 'I feel a tremendous amount in common with you. I am the oldest
son, of the oldest son, of the oldest son, at least five generations, and
they were all rabbis.' Clark is a one-man melting pot. . .born a Jew, raised
a Baptist, then a convert to Roman Catholicism. . .and now a faggot. . .what
next? He needs a way to connect with Blacks, so maybe he'll claim one of his
rabbi ancestors created a Negro golem. Clark is an ultra-ambitious beast who
would do anything to connect with the dark powers running the globe. . .at
best he's a longshot, but it would be a Hell of a fun four years if a madman
like this got into the White House.

Dennis Kucinich: Former boy wonder couldn't even run Cleveland, now 30
years later he thinks he can run the US. Well, at least the man is a real
democrat. . .problem is, there probably aren't more than a few million
non-Black real democrats left in the country. . . Clark gets Madonna and
Michael Moore. . .Kucinich gets Willie Nelson. . .well, they have their
bankruptcies in common. . .I mean, usually the celebrities give the
politicians money, but Willie probably hit up Kucinich for a loan.

Joe Lieberman: Ha ha ha. The family values man. Uncle Joe says those
violent video games and movies teach our children a poor lesson. . .not like
the good lessons they learn when we drop bombs on Afghan and Iraqi kids. And
when Uncle Joe is president, our kids can learn even more as we bomb Syria
and any other country that poses an imaginary threat to Israel. . .uh, I
mean, Amerika. But it cannot be denied that Uncle Joe is the ultimate family
man. . . He pays his kids $80,000 to work on his campaign. . .ha ha ha. .
..wait, did I say he pays his kids? That's wrong. . .the dopes who send Uncle
Joe campaign contributions pay Joe's kids $80,000. . .they used to pay his
kids $100,000, till Uncle Joe, trying to appease those who were offended by
his family-first charity, slashed their salaries by $20,000. . .'Both
children hit the phones, big time,' said Rebecca Lieberman, who described
her dad as appreciative. 'I'm always happy to give my dad naches,' she said,
using the Yiddish word for 'good feeling.'' Good grief. . .

John Edwards: Try to imagine Jeffrey Dahmer as president of the United
States, then maybe someone can figure out what this guy is up to. . .Edwards
is a harmless airhead pretty-boy. . .or so he appears. . .a perfect VP
candidate. . .the 21st century Dan Quayle. . .all he seems to want to do is
convince people he is nice. . .there's something scary about these kind of
emotionally flat choirboys. . .Dahmer was a nice little dullard, too, until
he got you back in his apartment. . .as soon as Edwards takes his hand off
the Bible on his inauguration, he'll rip off the pretty-boy mask he's been
wearing and we'll see this Sid Haig-looking ******* with horns. . .right
this way for the Mark of the Beast.

John Kerry: 'When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh
through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he saith, I will return
unto my house whence I came out. And when he cometh, he findeth it swept and
garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh to him seven other spirits more wicked
than himself; and they enter in, and dwell the and the last state of that
man is worse than the first.' That's Kerry in a nutshell. . .the last state
of the man is worse than the first. The poor guy can never quite manage to
do the right thing. He kills civilians in Vietnam, then returns home and
checks the political winds, and presto! he's the ultimate peacenik veteran
against the war. . .yet this dove didn't think twice about supporting Bush's
war against Iraq. . .until he saw the anti-war midget Dean's early poll
numbers. . .oops, Kerry now claims he was deceived by Bush into supporting
the war. . .ha ha ha. . .and now he uses his Vietnam record like Bob Dole
used his crippled arm in '96. He's one of the few politicians who got a
divorce and then married an older woman. . .of course, the old bag was worth
about half-a-billion dollars. Kerry is an accomplished two-face, right down
to his own genealogy. . .he spent his entire political career letting the
people of Massachusetts assume he was Irish-Amerikan. . .Kerry's the kind of
elegant fraud Amerikans love. . .well, maybe he'll do the right thing. . .if
it's easy. . .he's the closest thing to Clinton in this batch of Democrats,
and the only one who has a chance of beating Bush.



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