| Home |
| Search |
| Today's Posts |
|
#1
|
|||
|
|||
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
World's Dumbest Town Vows To Raise IQ
Thursday March11, 2004 The people of Snellville, GA have had it with their image as the world's dumbest town. So they've embarked on an ambitious program of study to raise their average IQ by at least 20 points. "We're tired of people making fun of us," says Mayor Jerry Oberholtzer, noting that some Americans have started using the phrase "pulled a Snellville" when someone does something stupid. The tiny-brained town has earned that reputation many times over. In just the last year: Police announced they must stop all patrols, because their squad cars have run out of gas. "We can't buy new cars until the next budget year," says the police chief, Capt. Geoff Jacobs. An abandoned warehouse burned to the ground because firefighters didn't hook their hoses to water hydrants. "I always thought the water was already in the truck," says a firehouse commander. "Somebody should've said something about those hydrant things." A riot broke out on a street corner, when a crowd of pedestrians began pushing and shoving after standing at the intersection for more than an hour. "We were waiting for the stop sign to change, and it never did," says one of the few to escape injury in the melee. Several businesses in town, including the bank, have collapsed because employees can't make change. "They'd get a $5 bill and give change for $50, or get $100 and give change for $10," says an outside auditor who investigated the bank failures. "And once word got out, the place was easy pickings for counterfeiters." Dozens of dimwits have been hospitalized with bizarre self-inflicted injuries. Snellville residents often drive cars with cardboard sunscreens still covering the windshield, try to iron their clothes while wearing them and jump off buildings dressed as Superman because they think the cape enables them to fly. The Town Council recently outlawed Superman capes, for residents' protection. Desperate to cure the affliction of idiocy, town officials have hired the Fl oridian tutoring firm Edu-Zone to run classes in math, reading and logic for the town's 12,084 residents. "Frankly, I'm not sure we'll have much success at raising their IQ," says an Edu-Zone spokeswoman. "There are some intelligence researchers who believe it's possible, but others say IQ is something you are born with and is as unchangeable as eye color. "But we are eager to try, for the sake of the town. These people are so desperately feeble-minded, it's a wonder they're functioning at all." Snellville's leaders hope to see the town IQ go from a dull-witted 75 to an average-intelligence mark of 95; experts say an IQ of 90 to 110 is average. "We'd be real happy going from 75 to 95," Oberholtzer says. "That's two points, right?" One of the top pollsters in the country, John Zogby, said that the town is expected to lean heavily Democratic in this year's Presidential election...or maybe not. John Kerry is polling about 58 points ahead of his next closest rival for the Presidency in one poll. "When we ask the residents who they support in the 2004 Presidential race, George Bush the Republican, or John Kerry the Democrat, Kerry comes out way on top" said Zogby. However, when the wording was changed to ask who they support in the 2004 Presidential race, the current U.S. President, George Bush, or the Senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry, the residents from Snellville overwhelmingly choose Bush. "We think the discrepancy has to do with the fact that Kerry is viewed as an unpopular Yankee in this very Southern Confederate-flag-flying town" adds Mr. Zogby. "Either that, or the fact that the town is filled with imbeciles that do not know how to punch the proper telephone button during our automated telephone polls." |
|
#2
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
LOL! |
|
#3
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
"NOYB" wrote in message nk.net...
World's Dumbest Town Vows To Raise IQ Thursday March11, 2004 You just get dumber, and dumber, don't you, NOYB? |
|
#4
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
NOYB wrote: The people of Snellville, GA have had it with their image as the world's dumbest town. Well dang, I think we just found where b'asskisser lives. -- Charlie |
|
#5
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
On Fri, 12 Mar 2004 01:00:56 GMT, "NOYB" wrote:
World's Dumbest Town Vows To Raise IQ Thursday March11, 2004 The people of Snellville, GA have had it with their image as the world's dumbest town. So they've embarked on an ambitious program of study to raise their average IQ by at least 20 points. "We're tired of people making fun of us," says Mayor Jerry Oberholtzer, noting that some Americans have started using the phrase "pulled a Snellville" when someone does something stupid. The tiny-brained town has earned that reputation many times over. In just the last year: Police announced they must stop all patrols, because their squad cars have run out of gas. "We can't buy new cars until the next budget year," says the police chief, Capt. Geoff Jacobs. An abandoned warehouse burned to the ground because firefighters didn't hook their hoses to water hydrants. "I always thought the water was already in the truck," says a firehouse commander. "Somebody should've said something about those hydrant things." A riot broke out on a street corner, when a crowd of pedestrians began pushing and shoving after standing at the intersection for more than an hour. "We were waiting for the stop sign to change, and it never did," says one of the few to escape injury in the melee. Several businesses in town, including the bank, have collapsed because employees can't make change. "They'd get a $5 bill and give change for $50, or get $100 and give change for $10," says an outside auditor who investigated the bank failures. "And once word got out, the place was easy pickings for counterfeiters." Dozens of dimwits have been hospitalized with bizarre self-inflicted injuries. Snellville residents often drive cars with cardboard sunscreens still covering the windshield, try to iron their clothes while wearing them and jump off buildings dressed as Superman because they think the cape enables them to fly. The Town Council recently outlawed Superman capes, for residents' protection. Desperate to cure the affliction of idiocy, town officials have hired the Fl oridian tutoring firm Edu-Zone to run classes in math, reading and logic for the town's 12,084 residents. "Frankly, I'm not sure we'll have much success at raising their IQ," says an Edu-Zone spokeswoman. "There are some intelligence researchers who believe it's possible, but others say IQ is something you are born with and is as unchangeable as eye color. "But we are eager to try, for the sake of the town. These people are so desperately feeble-minded, it's a wonder they're functioning at all." Snellville's leaders hope to see the town IQ go from a dull-witted 75 to an average-intelligence mark of 95; experts say an IQ of 90 to 110 is average. "We'd be real happy going from 75 to 95," Oberholtzer says. "That's two points, right?" One of the top pollsters in the country, John Zogby, said that the town is expected to lean heavily Democratic in this year's Presidential election...or maybe not. John Kerry is polling about 58 points ahead of his next closest rival for the Presidency in one poll. "When we ask the residents who they support in the 2004 Presidential race, George Bush the Republican, or John Kerry the Democrat, Kerry comes out way on top" said Zogby. However, when the wording was changed to ask who they support in the 2004 Presidential race, the current U.S. President, George Bush, or the Senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry, the residents from Snellville overwhelmingly choose Bush. "We think the discrepancy has to do with the fact that Kerry is viewed as an unpopular Yankee in this very Southern Confederate-flag-flying town" adds Mr. Zogby. "Either that, or the fact that the town is filled with imbeciles that do not know how to punch the proper telephone button during our automated telephone polls." Doesn't one of our more beloved and less intellectually endowed group members come from this place? John H On the 'Poco Loco' out of Deale, MD on the beautiful Chesapeake Bay! |
|
#6
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
|
|
#7
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
"John H" wrote in message ... On 12 Mar 2004 04:07:04 -0800, (basskisser) wrote: "NOYB" wrote in message nk.net... World's Dumbest Town Vows To Raise IQ Thursday March11, 2004 You just get dumber, and dumber, don't you, NOYB? Yup, I knew it! Me too. Hehehe. |
|
#8
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
|
|
#9
|
|||
|
|||
|
OT--World's Dumbest Town is in Georgia
In article , John H wrote:
On 12 Mar 2004 04:07:04 -0800, (basskisser) wrote: "NOYB" wrote in message nk.net... World's Dumbest Town Vows To Raise IQ Thursday March11, 2004 You just get dumber, and dumber, don't you, NOYB? Yup, I knew it! John H How intelligent is a dope smoking dope? On the 'Poco Loco' out of Deale, MD on the beautiful Chesapeake Bay! |
Linear Mode
