I found these on an old computer and thought it might be a good idea to
repost them.

I think someone named Gary originally posted them back in 1998.

Boat Stories



One day out at a really busy, crowded reservoir near here, we were
ready to go home. My sister-in-law goes and gets the truck and
trailer, but she was new to backing a trailer (now she's better at it
than I am) so it took her a while to get down the ramp. Meanwhile,
four guys with a very sharp, old Glastron/Carlson jet are also
retrieving their boat. They make a few remarks as to my sis's
difficulty, and smartly back their pickup and trailer in, noisily
power load the Carlson, and take blast up the ramp without anyone
hooking up the boat. I watched with some surprise... it was a pretty
steep ramp and I didn't think you could do that. Anyway 10 minutes
later we are putting the boat cover on out in the parking lot, and the

Glastron/Carlson boys are ready to leave. Naturally they want to do
it with as much noise as possible, so the truck driver revs up the
truck, dumps the clutch, and smokes the back tires for a second... and

when he got traction, he pulled the trailer right out from under the
boat, which slid a foot or two on the hot, gravelly asphalt before
coming to a shuddering halt.



Dead silence. We all stood and watched while truck-boy ran back to
the boat... picked up the torn-off skeg, and screamed at the top of
his lungs as he hurled the skeg away in despair.



After we took a moment for a hearty laugh at his expense, we helped
them lift the boat and winch it back onto the trailer. What a mess.



10 minutes later, we hear a sickening crunch from the launch ramp.
Someone had backed a chunky Four Winns cuddy down the ramp with the
winch cable and safety chain unsecured (why do people do that?) The
Winns slid 1/3 of the way off the trailer about 10 feet from the
water's edge, crunching the outdrive. With muscle power and the winch

we put it back on the trailer enough for them to get it on the water
(I think they were just going to reposition it on the trailer, not
launch it, since we could not get it all the way forward on the
trailer by hand.) I guess sometimes you can back down the ramp with
the boat totally unsecured... and sometimes you can't.



I think after that day I was more tired from lifting boats than
skiing.



Moral: Keep boat attached to trailer whenever possible. With
redundancy. I hook/unhook my boat when the trailer is in the water. I

don't want to hear that crunch from MY rig!










I was docking my boat at the marina, and saw my wife was in a struggle

with our 2 year old son, who wanted to climb overboard. Seeing she
was in no position to help, and with a very strong tide pulling at the

boat, I decided to run up onto the bow so I could get on the dock and
secure the bowline.
Unfortunately, I didn't see the hatch was open and stepped right into
it.
It hurts just remembering it! Now, I will never buy a boat with a
sliding deck hatch!










Of course, I don't think is as bad as when a friend had visibility
problems coming out of Baltimore, going North. He decided to keep
land to his port until Turkey Pt. The plan worked well until he got
to Poole's island and circled it any number of times.









After anchoring out one night on our houseboat, my wife and I decided
not to stay overnight and so headed back in. We passed through the
marina's tire barrier, headed for our dock and just as I started the
turn to port to pull into the slip, the front of the boat started
turning to starboard. All of a sudden, the boat did a complete 180 to
starboard and I was facing back out with no comprehension as to what
was happening. It was surreal. The boat then started going - on its
own - back out toward the gap in the tire barrier and away from the
dock. Still really confused, I put her in reverse and gunned it to try

and offset the forward motion. It stopped going forward but wouldn't
turn despite repeated efforts.



Since it was about 11:00pm and I had already made a hell of a racket
running the motor in reverse at high RPMs, I decided to shut it off
and try to paddle back to the dock. As I prepared to paddle, my wife
happened to look over the bow at which time she said, "You dumb
(expletive deleted), you forgot to pull in the anchor!"



We had come all the way back into the marina dragging the anchor tied
off on one of the front cleats. Unbelievably, it did not catch on
anything solid and yank the front off the boat of spin it around at
speed. It did, however, catch on some cables going across the marina
bottom and that's what caused the lack of steering. I'm still amazed
that I didn't cause the entire marina to go dark or pull the tire
barrier with me into the docks. I'm admitting to my stupidity now, but

I sure was glad that it was night when this all happened and there
were no witnesses. I wonder how many fish I knocked unconscious with
the anchor on the way back.



(The REALLY stupid thing is that, not having the foggiest idea of what

was causing the boat to drift back out of the marina, the only thing
my mind could come up with was that the Corp of Engineers was letting
water out of the dam at a very fast rate and we were being pulled by
the current. Like, DUH! I made the mistake of voicing that possibility
out loud. Big mistake.
It is now my wife's favorite thing to bring up

when we're having a disagreement.)









One morning I'm sitting at the water having the morning coffee. I hear

some fuss next door, and there's one guy standing on the dock, and
another in the water. The guy standing in the water is holding their
1.5hp Johnson while the other is wrapping the starter cord and pulls.
No luck. They fuss with the motor like that for a while, and just as I

was about to gently suggest the folly of the idea, the little
egg-beater caught.



I was certain I was about to witness someone losing part of their
legs. The fellow holding the motor held the thing white-knuckled,
spinning like mad in circles showing me a face of horror every half
second. I thought he was going to drill himself into the lake bottom.
The guy on the dock is standing there holding his head in shock, when
the other fellow summons the nerve to let go.



Well the little kicker headed straight out on it's own for about 150',

lost momentum and sputtering and gurgling, sank in 60' of water.



Lucky fools.









While traveling down the Cooper River in SC, my brother and I spotted
large round fender trapped in a fallen tree. After no little hassle
we retrieved the nasty, slimy treasure. As we were in my new 19 foot
runabout I did not want the thing on my carpet. Ah! We decided to
tow it behind the boat at speed for a while to clean off the muck. We

used a three eighths inch, three strand nylon line about fifty feet
long for this purpose. Things went well until the fender hit a wake
and started bouncing. The fender came into the boat at high speed and

wham!, it lodged snugly between the two front seats. A little to the
left or right and it would have taken some one's head off.

Those lines are springy!










Then there's the time I was running my mouth instead of watching the
channel markers. Man, I didn't know sand could be hard enough to
knock an outdrive completely off a boat, but yes, it can be done.
Fortunately it was easy to get out, stand up and recover the pieces.
What a long day that was.










I was out in my fathers 19' tri-hull about 10 years ago with my
brother, his girlfriend, my buddy and his girlfriend. We were out for

a night cruise....no need to look at the charts....right. Huh, what
was that? Did
we just hit something? ....as we slid onto the well charted shallows
of
the Hingham Weir River. After 45 minutes of rocking and reversing,
cursing, and listening to my friends girlfriend panicking whether or
not we were going to make it through the night (she was a bit dramatic

at times). I gave up and said we are just going to have to wait a
couple hours for the tide to come in. So I ask my brother for a soda
out of the cooler. He
walks to my end of the boat.....and we float off. Sigh ! ! !









I was out skiing with some friends, and we had to stop the boat for a
while to pull one skier out and throw another in. We put one girl in
charge of watching the shore and keeping us off of it (we didn't
bother to tell her that the proper way to do this was to idle forward
and steer away). Well, something delayed the skier's entry into the
water, and we drifted close enough to shore that the girl at the helm
began to get nervous. She decided that it was time to move, so VROOM!

She puts the boat in full reverse in order to back away from shore.
We did move backward, right over the ski rope. The entire length
wrapped around the prop, and we were stranded.
Luckily, there were enough strong swimmers on the boat, and we were
pretty close to our dock, so we could swim our faithful scow back to
be unraveled.









If it makes you feel any better my brother and a friend rented a 14'
aluminum fishing boat on a small lake, found a good spot on the far
side and fished there all day. When the time came to return they
managed to get to within about 100' of the rental place before
realizing why the 9.9 outboard was so much more "gutless" then they'd
remembered it being on the way out.
You guessed it...more anchor-trollers. They did a graceful arc in
their course and retrieved the anchor rather then just pulling up to
the dock and anchoring there. :-)










When I was about 10 years old, my grandfather (a man I worshipped and
still
do) took me fishing up the "Inlet" of Owasco Lake. He lived in the SE

corner of it on the inlet end. The "Inlet", to a 10 yr old, was like
going up into the Amazon River. It's heavy swamp land sliced in two
by the lake-filled river which feeds the whole valley (glacial) in the

Finger Lakes of Upstate NY. The depth is about 20-30 ft, a vast
crevasse to a 10 yr old.
I loved the seclusion and great wildlife we always saw up there. The
river very lazily coasted into the lake-filled swamp with hardly any
current you could see, except during the spring snow melt floods.



We got to one of Grandpa's favorite fishin' holes. He stopped the
motor and ordered me, his only crewmember totally obedient to his
every command, to throw the anchor overboard. I did.



Too bad there was no ROPE attached to said anchor! The anchor was, of

course, 3 weeks old and in brand-new condition. As soon as I threw it

overboard I knew I'd just done the stupidest thing of my short life.
I looked at him and started to cry in frustration. I never feared
him. He was my best friend! Grandpa's shocked look broke into a wide

grin, then into a REAL belly whopper of a laugh I'm SURE they could
hear back at Southeast on Owasco 3 miles away! He was laughing so
hard he couldn't start the motor! His laughing started MY laughing.
We were STILL laughing by the time we reached his dock many hours
later with the usual 3 stringers of Owasco's finest fish to clean. My

grandmother scolded him for letting me drink from his flask of George
Dickle he invariably carried "to keep warm".
We never drank a drop. We were LAUGHING TOO HARD!



He told this story, over and over and over, until he died. It seemed
every time we went fishing, he would make me DOUBLECHECK the anchor
lines, which would of course start the laughing spells all over again!

I sure miss that old V-bottom 12' aluminum boat, the old Blue Evinrude

that took us there......and that old man, laughing at my
stupidity.....










Ok, I'll admit it, I've run with the anchor still out, ONCE! This was
back in my outboard days. I had a bunch of friends out, and they were
very distracting. In my distraction, I forgot about the anchor. We
took off, and the next thing I know this "thing" surfaces and jumps
out of the water off the starboard beam like a fish jumping out of
water. Then I hear a few impacts under the hull, then the same jumping

out of water over at the port side. I realized what happened and
stopped the boat and retrieved the anchor. Feeling dumb was only made
worse when I saw the fiberglass gouges that were made by the anchor on

the boat bottom, when I hauled the boat out at the end of the day. My
first experience with gelcoat patch.....









Over the weekend, while out fishing with a buddy of mine, we stopped
back at the marina to get a soda and something to eat. While we were
outside on the patio, we were watching all the people at the boat
ramp.



Here comes a family of people with an old boat. I mean OLD BOAT. It
looked like an old 1964 15 footer with an equally old Evinrude
outboard. This poor old boat looked like it hasn't been in the water
in 10 years. It had settled and "stuck" to the trailer rollers and
wouldn't come loose. So, the old man (Grandpa) takes the Chevy pickup

and drives the truck and the boat back up the ramp. Then floors it in

reverse until the trailer wheels are in the water, then slams on the
brakes and skids the truck almost in the water too! Get this: The
boat still didn't come off the trailer!



Finally, the whole family got in the water and started rocking the
boat side to side until it finally broke free and floated. Man, I
wish I had a video camera. It was classic. My buddy and I were
cracking up!










While still on the upper part of a steep ramp in the North Carolina
highlands, boat still on the trailer, a family of 5 climbed into their
18'
bow rider and prepared to launch. Daddy, began to back the trailer
towards the water when he suddenly jammed on the brakes. You can
guess what happened next. The boat slid off the trailer until the back

of the boat contacted the concrete ramp. What does Daddy do next? He
must have thought that if he pulled forward, he could start all over.

Next thing you know, a very surprised and confused group of 5 are
sitting in their now canted boat, which is, of course, fully on the
concrete.









A few years ago I was at Fishhook Park on the Snake River. I watched
as a nice new Dodge Ram back a trailer with about a 21' outdrive
toward the ramp.
Things were going pretty well, except that he'd made a few mistakes
along the way.



Mistake #1 - 2" hitch, 1 7/8" hitch ball.

Mistake #2 - no safety chains.

Mistake #3 - had the outdrive lowered before launching.



The hitch popped off the ball just as he started down the ramp,
followed by a series of loud ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk, all the way
down the ramp.
Each "ka-chunk" was the sound of the SS prop digging into the
rough-finished concrete of the ramp. By the time he'd gotten out of
the truck, the boat and trailer were in the water and starting to
drift away from the ramp area.



He managed to get the trailer hooked back up to his truck and took off

without even bothering to assess the damage. About all I can say is,
my father is a retired old-Navy Boatswain's Mate, and, until that day,

I'd thought I'd already heard all the cuss-words that existed...









Bubba, wife and kids show up at steep launch ramp in Ford pickup
towing Allison river racer powered by big 300hp Merc outboard. Bubba
unstraps back of Allison, gets in boat and wife backs boat down ramp
looking out open driver's window.



As soon as boat touches water, Bubba starts noisy engine up and races
it for effect for those of us watching from restaurant. With truck in

position, Bubba backs down big Merc. Boat doesn't move. Bubba
increases reverse throttle. Boat doesn't move. Bubba RACES engine
locked down in reverse...HARD! Big engine with superprop drags
trailer and attached pickup truck down steep ramp sliding tires on wet

concrete. Soon as water gets near cab of pickup, Mom panics! Mom
jumps out of truck, releasing only brake holding truck to ramp! Truck

and trailer back SWIFTLY down ramp into deep water. On dock, we hear
huge 460 cube Ford V-8 take its first, and last, breath of river
water.



As boat is STILL ATTACHED to trailer by big black webbing strap and
safety chain hook on bow, weight of trailer and now-flooded truck
pulls bow of boat underwater, causing huge Mercury Black Max to become

airborne horizontally about 8' in the air. Bubba jumps for his life
over top of submerged truck.
As engine is STILL running in reverse about 2/3 throttle, engine with
no load meets rev limiter making an AWFUL RACKET! Unable to get to
throttle, Bubba watches in awe as uncooled $14,000 Mercury race engine

finally seizes in an instant in an awful "CRUNCH" as hot pistons weld
themselves to hot cylinder walls breaking crank bearings, connecting
rods, etc., in crankcase.



The COMPLETE SILENCE is AWESOME! Of the 40 people watching this
drama, not ONE uttered a SINGLE WORD for many minutes. As shock wears

off, first words we hear comes from Bubba who starts screaming at wife

for LETTING OFF OF THE BRAKES!!



Crowd then ROARS in laughter, emptying restaurant of patrons to see
$30K Allison race boat sticking stern up from mysterious anchor
holding bow underwater.....just enough so not to sink it.










Last week I show up at Burt Reynolds (yeah "The Bandit", he's a big
deal around here) Park to pick up the Old Man, Mr. Colecchio. There's
a Town of Jupiter cruiser parked behind a hot rod tunnel hull
blocking the ramp.



The Old Man comes over and say's "This poor SOB.., you've gotta see
this." .
So after I do the pre-launch on the Silver Dawn , I walk over to see
why this guy's blocking the ramp. The tunnel has the cover still on it

and a nifty 200 Black Max on a jack plate... sans lower unit.



Seems the guy left the storage yard w/o checking the boat. A big
surprise. I
really felt bad for the guy. Anybody order a new lower unit for a
hot rod
Merc from So. Fl. lately?









Here's one I remember- one sunny summer weekend a few years ago at the

western ramps at Farrington Point, Jordan Lake, NC. These ramps have
no dock, and are very popular 'cuz they're free (other launch ramps at

Jordan Lake charge $4). Naturally there was a line of people waiting to

launch or retrieve boats, and one guy with a large impressive
bass-hunter boat drops off his buddy to get the truck and then backs
away. Meanwhile there are perhaps five or six other boats hanging
around and a line of traffic in the parking lot.



Mr. Bass Hunter gets bored sitting still, so he is vrooming around in
the crowd, occasionally getting yelled at about the "No Wake" zone.
Finally he gets the point and begins idling. This is almost as boring
as sitting still, so he decides to hunt for something in one of the
boats lockers (boat still in gear, at idle). Near collision with other
waiting boat draws more yells!
So he decides to put the helm hard over so the boat will just circle
and he won't have to watch where he's going. Wheel won't stay hard
over. Another near collision! He gets a short piece of rope and TIES
the steering wheel hard over. Problem solved! Now he begins rummaging
around in that locker in earnest, head down inside the boat. Other
boats are warily keeping out of the way now, so he rummages happily
free from interruptions, also unaware that his boat is not circling in
place.



His boat is slowly circling closer and closer to shore, where a poor
guy has the bad luck to have backed his car & trailer down the ramp,
wheels just in the water but rear bumper out over the water, just as
this circling boat reaches it's point of closest approach. Mr. Bass
Hunter's boat hits not the other boat, or it's trailer, but the CAR!
Slam-Bang! Dented car, busted tail-light. Lots of yelling! Mr. Bass
Hunter yanks his head out of the locker, and tries to grab the
steering wheel- no good, it's tied. His bow has now bounced off the
car and is wedged against the other guys trailer. Mr. Bass Hunter then
yanks his throttle into reverse, and the boat jerks a few times, then
frees itself, only to back up onto the nearby gravelly beach.
Ouch goes the propeller! Motor stalls and won't restart- can you blame
it?
Boat drifts out into deeper water.



Now Mr. Bass Hunter's buddy is on the ramp with the trailer. He calls
out, not eager to waste time as there is a line of other people
waiting. Somebody has mercy on Mr. Bass Hunter and tows him toward the
ramp, where he and his buddy have a hard time getting the boat to go
on the trailer straight with the motor jammed hard a-port (wheel still

tied), and strain the patience of everybody behind them winching it
all the way up

(they don't know how to do this properly as they've apparently always
power-loaded). They drive away, helm still lashed.



It still makes me laugh to remember these guys, and to wonder if they
managed to outwit any fish?









Take me, for example: I actually did this, and I'm grown-up enough to
laugh at myself. I packed up the boat at home (back when I lived in
town), in the driveway, charged the battery, hooked up the trailer,
made sandwiches, etc.
Bought ice for the ice chests and fish boxes, loaded up all the
fishing gear, which I had stayed up late the night before filling with
fresh line.



A couple of friends came over, ready for a GREAT day out on the lake,
as they were non-boaters. Finally we hit the road, towing the boat
about 45 miles, stopping to buy more food and sunblock and about $15
worth of live bait.



The ramp is a traffic jam, we wait for 20 minutes before finding an
opening.
Finally, we back the 3,000 pound load slowly into the water. My
friends are so excited their eyes are bugging out. As the trailer goes

into the water and into position, I put the truck in Park and stomp on

the parking brake, and as I push the door open and start to walk back
to back the boat off the trailer, a cold, chilling, shiver of
realization sweeps up my spine: I left the boat keys at home.









You know some of you people I swear!!! I've never done that!! Well ok
maybe I have once, or maybe twice. BUT to date I have never forgotten
the drain plug, stern straps or bow hook.



I have worked on my boat for an hour because it wouldn't start only to

realize it wasn't in neutral. Fortunately it was in a slip at the time

so I didn't take up space at the ramp.









After towing 50 miles, we were ALL set to go, the boat was off the
trailer and in the water, loaded to the gunwales, everybody bouncing
up and down in excitement... and it wouldn't start. Absolutely dead.
Faces fell, chests heave with enormous sighs of disappointment. Oh,
Lord, how horrible it was.
I wanted to tie a rock around my neck and jump into the lake.



We loaded it back up onto the trailer, hauled it all back home, and
attempted to be good-humored about it all. "Hey, it's not your fault,
it's some kinda mechanical problem..."



And then... horror spreads over my face as I realize... the line had
slipped off the kill switch. But hey.. I never did tell them, I kept
it a secret and saved face!









One day we are going to hit the lake, and I show up at his house a
little late. He is outside, with the wife, waiting for me, acting
like he had been ready for hours. We got about 2 blocks, and after
stopping at the first red light, we took off, only to notice that the
boat was no longer behind us!
The guy had forgotten the trailer tongue pins. :-) Safety chains
don't
help much in that situation!









I remember my first misfortune. I was 17 and had just restored the
family boat, a '75 model Galaxy TriHull, which my Dad, and all of his
brothers had used...



It was my first outing since the restoration, and I had invited two of

the best looking chics in school to go out with us. (big mistake) I
launched, got just past the no-wake zone (about 150 ft. from shore)
and threw the old 85hp outboard into reverse to spin the moss off that

you collect when launching at my ramp. Well, when a prop spins in
reverse, it pulls away from the boat, and (as I found out) if you
don't have a prop nut installed, you don't have a prop for much
longer! What an embarrassing
swim/pull-the-boat-back-to-shore-with-a-rope-thru-the-moss that
was!!!! The girls promptly split upon reaching shore. :-(









Relax Sharkey, I actually used to help some people. The last time
was some numbnuts with his brand new used trailer that couldn't get
his boat on straight. He would put the boat on nice and straight, but

the last two or three feet, the back end would kick out and put a port

list on the boat. he would pull it out of the water, look, and drop it

back in. He did this 4 of
5 times until we couldn't take any more.



Me and two other dockmates went over, looked at the situation and old
the guy that the rollers needed to be adjusted to fit his hull. We
then pushed, pulled and tugged the boat on straight so the guy could
get off the ramp and let others entertain us. The guy looks at the
boat / trailer for a little while and as we were walking away,
proceeds to put the boat BACK IN THE WATER!!! I guess it still wasn't
straight enough.



To make a short story even longer, this bozo entertained us for almost

two hours....Put the boat on, pull it out, look at it, put it back in,

put the boat on, pull it out, look at it, put it back in, put the boat
on, .......










I had just taken a new female friend, her 2 kids and my 2 kids out for

the day on the lake. All went well until I go to pull the boat out of

the water. I am driving my company truck(a manual trans. Mazda b2000
or something like that), and the clutch had been going. Well I begin
pulling up the steep ramp and have to ease out the clutch, but the
boat isn't coming out as fast as it usually does. Well, I am gunning
it now and smoke pours out from under the truck, but darnit, I'm gonna

make it. All of a sudden I hear a knock at the passenger window, and
see a frantic looking man motioning me to roll down the window. I
roll it down and take my foot off the gas so I can hear him, He waits
for the smoke to clear and then calmly asks me if I think it might be
advisable to raise the outdrive before I plow a trench ALL the way up
the ramp.



That was just as bad as when I DID forget to install the plugs on the
other boat.









List of dumb things I have done "at the ramp" over the years:

1) Left out drain plug

2) Didn't remove safety chain

3) Tried to launch boat without unstrapping transom tie-downs

4) Started engine with drive still in Trailer position

5) Left 1/2 of skeg on pavement by leaving drive down when pulling
out.

6) Fell in between boat and dock after doing 4ft splits between both.

7) Left electric brakes "on" and wondered why my Suburban couldn't
pull the

250DA up the ramp.

8) Left electric brakes plugged in with trailer in water.

9) Ruined two SS Mirage props "driving" my 250DA on to the trailer









My brother and I had just pulled his 21' Wellcraft out of the water,
but didn't hook up the transom tie-downs because the ramp was very
busy, and we wanted to clear it for other people. As we were
accelerating to leave the ramp, his Suburban stalled and lurched
forward. The boat slid forward, the winch post gave way, and the bow
of the b at went right through the rear door glass.










A friend of mine that I work with, who lives 4 hours away, was a
little upset because his wife had just left him the weekend before.
Lets call him JT. He decided to buy a PWC, and put in the back of his

Nissan truck and drive it down for Memorial weekend to try it out for
the first time. He tried to get a bunch of us at work to go out with
him, but everyone else already had places to go. He decided to take
the PWC out by himself. He

launched it with no problem, but when it came time to get it out, he
had a little problem.



He tried to get it in the back of the truck, but could not lift it
himself, so he kept backing the truck into the water at the ramp. He
went back so far that the computer under his seat got wet and killed
the motor.



At this point he got a hold of one of his work buddies, who comes out
to give him a hand, let's call him Red. Red's not real bright, but is

always willing. He jumps in his van and drives out to the boat ramp.

By the time Red gets out to the ramp, JT has managed to get the PWC in

the back of the half swamped truck, and strapped it down. Red gets
there and assesses the situation, and figures he's got to get the
truck out of the water. Red looks around for a towrope, but the best
he can come up with is a luggage strap. He ties the luggage strap to
the front of the half swamped truck, and to the back of his van and
starts pulling the truck out of the water.
Red thought that JT was going to stay in his truck, but JT got worried

about his new PWC, and jumped out to make sure it was going to stay in

the bed of the truck. Just as JT is behind his truck, and the truck
is quite a ways up the ramp, the luggage strap breaks. The truck
lurches back, and JT is able to get out of it's way.



The truck gains some speed and hits the water at the end of the ramp,
but instead of sinking, it floats! In fact it floats out 100 yards or

so from the ramp before it sinks!!



At this point, Red calls his other buddy, lets call him RB, who lives
only 2 miles from the ramp. By the time RB gets there, the police are
also there.
RB walks up to a cop that he knows, thinking that everything is OK
because he doesn't see any problems and is wondering where the truck
and PWC are.
The Cop shines his flashlight out on the water, and shows RB the buoy
100 yards out from shore, which is actually the front of the PWC
bobbing up to the surface, still attached to the truck which is now on
the bottom.



RB, knowing the cop starts telling him about how JT's wife had just
left him (another long story), and talks the cops and the local Fire
Dept divers to use this as a training rescue. They eventually get the

truck out and the PWC after they dive on it for an hour or so.



Ends up the truck is totaled, but the PWC was fine and no one was hurt

(Except for JT's pride).









Monterey Breakwater launch ramp. These guys show up with a really
beat up old boat sitting on what is clearly a new homebuilt trailer
(new paint, bad paint job, UGLY welds). The bow of the boat is
sitting about six inches from the tail gate of their pickup. They are

clearly going to get the truck salty. A big one comes in and picks up

the back of the truck -- it's just floating. They were very lucky the

driver had his foot on the brakes -- if it had just been on the hand
brake, it would have rolled back in to the ocean when the back got
lifted up.



Story #2:



I'd read on a can of silicone spray that putting it on the bunks would

make it easier to load the boat (I don't have rollers). So while we
were off on a water-ski weekend, I sprayed down the bunks. Next
Friday the ocean goes flat, so I take a day of vacation to go diving.

I'm backing down the ramp and stop to take the safety chain off and
there's a big noise. The boat had slid to the end of the safety
chain. The silicone worked. BTW, with the silicone, I stop about
three feet shorter on the ramp to load and unload.
The back tires of the truck don't even get wet.









OK, here's my "reverse" drain plug story. We were leaving a lake in
Texas in a rainstorm. My friend had his aluminum boat trailed behind
him, and I was on a motorcycle (great run in the rain.) He was
following me, and an hour or so later, we came to a stop sign at an
intersection. I was watching him come up behind me, and noticed he
wasn't slowing down much. Thinking he must be messing with the radio
or something, I got the hell out of the way as he went right through
the intersection! Noticed he was skidding and fishtailing a little...
When he finally stopped I went up to him, and as he got out, we
noticed the boat was full of water! His dad, being ever helpful, had
put the drain plug BACK IN after my friend had pulled the boat up the
ramp and gotten it all ready to go home! The weight of the water made
him almost unable to stop on the wet road. Good thing I was looking!









Today, it was tempting to be the bad Samaritan.



I agreed to help the new owners of a 50 footer move their boat up the
sound to Everett. They had never been through the locks and were
reluctant to try maneuvering into their boathouse. WITTMAD (whatever
it takes to make a deal).



Off we go in the first day of fall. Since it's Seattle, we celebrate
the first day of fall with a drenching rainstorm. It wouldn't do to
let the opportunity pass for a little autumn rain. New owner asks me
to run the boat until we're well out into open water. No problem.



Trip starts flawlessly. We arrive at the small locks to be at the head

of the waiting pier, and only have to wait about 15 minutes for an
inbound locking to complete and our outbound opportunity to arise. We
power in and make fast, and we're joined by a small Nordic tug astern
and a 25 foot sloop of some sort abeam to port. The sloop is powered
by an outboard motor, sitting in an outboard well in the cockpit.



After the drop down to current tidelevel on the sal****er side, the
lockmaster signals the sloop to release the bow and then the stern
line. Ok, fine. Only problem was that the outboard wasn't running when

they cast loose. There's a strong "downstream" current running out of
the locks and the little blowboat drifted out between the lock walls
without benefit of any power. The Head Rag Bender In Charge was
pulling like crazy on the starting rope, but to no avail. We're next
in line to exit the locks.



"Uh," said the lock attendant, " would you mind throwing that guy a
line when you get out there and tow him to a dock or something before
he gets himself in real trouble?" "No problem," says I, "If he's not
underway by the time we get out there we'll take him in tow."
Wouldn't 99% of us have done exactly the same thing?



We power out past the bulkheads and into the strong current from the
dam at the locks. The sailors are still unable to start the outboard.

"Are you underway?" I asked. "Negative" responds the superior being
(certain sailors often consider themselves to be such, you know).



"Toss us a bowline and we'll take you in tow!" Well, duh. The bowline

is a snarled up mess that will take two chimpanzees and a diagram to
unscramble.
"Would you like us to throw you a line instead?" I asked. "No, we
want to use our line!" insisted the sailor.



The current finally caught the sailboat and he is running broadside
toward a row of piling that flank a dangerously shoal area. One of the

sailors is doing an Indian Rope trick with the bow line. The other is
asking the Houdini wanna-be which way to move the tiller.



"You're likely to run aground pretty soon!" I called out. "How quickly

can you get us that line?" "Does it look like I'm not trying?" said
the sailor in a condescending tone.



Meanwhile, things have gotten just a bit hairy. The outbound traffic
from the locks isn't giving our little carnival any slack
what-so-ever, nor is the inbound traffic. The sailboat is sideways in

the current, I'm working the transmissions to keep the big butt boat
from doing likewise and yet still have us in position to assist
Sailbad the Sinner. Do any of the other boats in the area back off and
give us an inch? Heck no.



At long last something resembling the bitter end of the bowline is
tossed to the new owner of the 50 footer back in the cockpit, he makes

it fast to cleat and indicates that it's ok to get underway. Before we

can even begin to take up any of the slight slack from the line, the
sailboat arrives broadside against the pilings.



"Hey!" calls the assisted sailor. "What do you think you're doing?
Look what you made me do! I hit the damn piling! You should have hit
the throttle hard enough to keep me off! My boat's dinged and it's
your fault!"



Well, let's review he sailboat casts off of lock wall without
engine running. Get's into a difficult current situation. Spends 10
times too much time getting a bowline available for towing. (engine
and rest of vessel not ready for sea, obviously). Neighboring boater
offers to pull butt out of sling, and is blamed when the blow boat
bangs a piling.



For one moment I considered being the bad Samaritan. Since the ingrate

obviously felt he was far worse off with assistance than he would have

been pinballing down the rest of the waiting wall beyond the first
encountered piling, maybe it would be better to just cast his smart
mouth loose and let him figure things out for himself?



The fickle finger of fate supplied a timely answer. Not only was the
bowline a neglected and convoluted mess, it turned out to be fairly
rotten as well and snapped like a kite tring after about 50 yards of
towing. Still, we couldn't just leave him to his just deserts. This
time we insisted that he take our line, and we proceeded toward
Shilshole Marina on a slow bell.



On the sailboat, Laurel is using the tiller to keep the disabled craft

reasonably centered in our rippling wake while Hardy is still yanking
on the starter rope. "Hey, if you get that thing to start, don't put
it in gear with this tow line out!" I called back. "I don't want to
pick up a slack line in the props!" The sailor yanking the outboard
rope looks up and says with an acid and derisive tone, "Just because
my motor won't run doesn't mean that I don't know how to boat!"



He was right. The fact that his motor wasn't running had no direct
bearing on the fact that he doesn't know how to boat.



We got the SV Pistoff to the guest dock at Shilshole and left them to
their own devices.



I think it was my commitment to the guy on the wall at the locks. I
agreed to tow the sailors out of harm's way. If it hadn't been for
that one thing, when the smart mouth ingratitude began it would have
been really really really easy to be the bad Samaritan and cut him
loose.

That was one of the most entertaining hours wasted reading on the 'net.

Thanks!
Tim