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OT What God REALLY told Bush
What God Really Told Bush
Apparently, it wasn't just "invade Iraq and Afghanistan in my name." A special report By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Wednesday, October 12, 2005 Printable Version Email This Article Mark Morford Archives Subscribe to Notes & Errata Subscribe to RSS Feed Who is this guy? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What God Really Told Bush - Apparently, it wasn't just "i... 10/12/2005 The Best Gizmo You Don't Have - See parents. Check on pets. Star... 10/07/2005 Open Letter To Kate Moss - Oh my waifish, coke-snorting love, ho... 10/05/2005 Love Still Rules San Francisco - Leather, techno, sex & war: mor... 09/30/2005 Kneel Before The Meteorologist - At last, one scientist BushCo w... 09/28/2005 Scene: White House private residence, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies PJs. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hair-spray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks: "Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of eight billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes you are! Yes you are! OK, stop giggling. I have more commands. Get off the damn hobbyhorse, George, and get a pen and a notepad. No, not a crayon. I don't care if blue is your favori-- George! Get a pen! OK? Good. Here we go: "As you know, I'm not quite what everyone thinks. I am not all benevolence and love and light. In fact, I have a downright dark side, mean and nasty and cunning, and I want you, George, to continue to be my special right-hand man. My special little guy. In fact, you shall help enact my wrath, Dubya. Doesn't that sound fun? "There are three things I love, George: war, revenge, suffering. Oh, and smiting the heathens. OK, four things. And kickboxing. Five things. There are five things I love, Dubya. You with me? And you and your demon monkeys are enacting the first four admirably, George. Don't be shy, go ahead and tell those Palestinian officials you were commanded by God to "restore peace" in the Middle East by bombing nearly defenseless, pip-squeak Iraq and Afghanistan to smithereens. They love that stuff. "But let's put the delicious war stuff aside for a moment. I need to round out my oeuvre. Here's the plan: I'm gonna wreak some major havoc on one of your poorest, most racially mixed, underfunded cities by hurling a massive hurricane at them, flooding the place and killing hundreds of poor people you don't even know exist because you thought they all lived somewhere in Africa. It's all right, the biggest city, New Orleans, will be full of Kerry-loving Democrats. Yeah, I thought you'd like that. "Here's where you come in, George: When those rains come, I want you to sit back for a few days, stay in the hammock in Crawford, have a lemonade, OK? Let those dead bodies float around New Orleans like it was some remote village in Nigeria. Then look completely baffled when everyone blames you for your administration's miserable response. You'll take some flak for it, but did I ever say serving me would be easy? Besides, people need to know I'm still here, still angry, getting angrier. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you. How does eternal damnati-- er, blessed sainthood sound? Good. "OK, moving on. I have a secret, George. Here it is: I hate this me-forsaken planet. All this so-called beauty, nature and the magic of science and the poetry of cells -- you know what Earth is to me? High maintenance, that's what. A massive pain in my hallowed butt. Growing all that food, blowing the wind, churning the oceans -- it's exhausting. Plus my energy bills are skyrocketing. Heating India and Turkey cost me 87 trillion last month alone. What am I, made of money? Well yes, of course I am. But no matter. I'm sick of it. "Here's the plan, George: I want you to despoil, OK? Rivers and air and lakes, wildlife preserves and pristine forests and salmon runs and bird sanctuaries. Screw 'em, Dubya. Screw 'em all. I want you to be the worst environmental president in 50 years, OK? Hell, make it 100. I want you to roll back more environmental protections and do more damage to the place in eight months than my bitch Ronnie Reagan did in eight years. Rape the joint clean. Sell it all off to your cronies in big industry and help me hasten Armageddon. Deal? Here's the truth, Dubya: Earth's a giant liver-flavored Kong toy and you're a rabid terrier. Now, go get it, boy! "Damn kids these days. Who needs so many? Why not send tens of thousands of them off to fight your two brutal, unwinnable wars? Why not Vietnam 2.0? Hell yes! Because if there's one thing I love more than useless wars, George, it's thousands of mutilated soldiers coming home in body bags, all draped in the pretty American flag. Twenty-one gun salute! For God and country! Righteous. "Speaking of uppity kids, I know my own brat Jesus came down here once and mumbled some flower-child gibberish about turning the other cheek and not killing anyone and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you and yadda-yadda-yadda. That's what happens when you give the kids the car keys and an unsupervised weekend, am I right? It's all complete bupkes, but I don't have to tell you that, now do I? "So here's what I want you to do, George. I want your demoralized military shlubs to capture as many swarthy types as possible, whenever they raid an Iraqi home or school or Afghan farm, and throw them all straight into a military prison and let 'em rot and wait for months, years for a fair hearing. Got it? "Strip them naked! Stick electrodes on their genitals! Smear menstrual blood on their faces! Beat 'em senseless! I don't care if they're innocent. I sayeth unto you, innocence is overrated. Rape the boys, too. Then cover it all up and blame it all on a poor, dim-witted female soldier from Kentucky and shove her into prison for three years while all the honchos who sanctioned the torture (hi, Rummy!) merely smirk and walk away. God sayeth unto you all, rock on! "I know, everyone says I'm made of pure love. Ha. Truth is, I'm made of aluminum chloride and coal cinders and something I'm not quite sure about but I think might be MSG. Oh yeah, and money. Fifties, mostly. "I gotta run, George. But rest assured, I'll be back soon, with more ideas. But there's one more thing you need to know, one thing you absolutely cannot forget. Remember our Super Triple Secret, George? Pinky swear? Spit handshake? Atta boy. "Here it is: We both know who I really am, don't we? I know you secretly admire my scaly red flesh, my shining black eyes, these bitchin' horns, the breath worse than Rove's after his morning meal of seared panda hearts. Of course you know the real God is more than a little disgusted by you and your administration, right? "Well, screw her. Typical woman, all benevolent and chthonic and compassionate. We know who's really in charge of your nasty administration, don't we, Dubya? Damned right. And I mean that literally. Keep your hands in the fire, if you know what I mean. Now c'mere and give me a hot tongue kiss. Sorry about charring the carpet. Sweet dreams." |
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
The Zawahiri letter is pretty strong evidence that the news media has it wrong. We *are* winning the war on terror. And Bush's poll numbers will reflect that in the coming 12 months. Bush's poll numbers may well go up again. At one time he had 80-90% approval ratings (when he retaliated against the Taliban for 9-11). He still had just over half the country either fooled (or too scared of Kerry) and willing to vote for him just a year ago. There's no limit to what some clever packaging and a good PR campaign can sell in this country. Forget about winning the war on terror. That's as hopeless as trying to instill civil discourse in a NG, and for many of the same reasons. Few of the little ****-ant countries in the world can hope to match the (perceived) military might of the US. Toe-to-toe conventional military engagements we can typically win with our superior technology. Some people with a grievance will strike back with whatever is at hand, and sometimes that's nothing more elaborate than a crude bomb and a suicide attack. As long we continue to act the "ugly American" and are increasingly hated around the world, as long as people like the PNAC group that currently occupies some of the highest offices in the country view the rest of the planet as America's political and economic "colony" to use as we see fit, we will continue to create terrorists faster than we can kill them. Even *if* you destroy Al Qaida, that doesn't win the war on terrorism. If we had nuked Colombia, would that have ended the traffic in illegal drugs? Beware an Al Qaida on the ropes........more dangerous/desperate now than ever. |
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
wrote in message oups.com... The Zawahiri letter is pretty strong evidence that the news media has it wrong. We *are* winning the war on terror. And Bush's poll numbers will reflect that in the coming 12 months. Bush's poll numbers may well go up again. At one time he had 80-90% approval ratings (when he retaliated against the Taliban for 9-11). Clarification: We retaliated against the Taliban for harboring those responsible for 9/11. He still had just over half the country either fooled (or too scared of Kerry) and willing to vote for him just a year ago. There's no limit to what some clever packaging and a good PR campaign can sell in this country. Forget about winning the war on terror. That's as hopeless as trying to instill civil discourse in a NG, and for many of the same reasons. Few of the little ****-ant countries in the world can hope to match the (perceived) military might of the US. Perceived? Toe-to-toe conventional military engagements we can typically win with our superior technology. Some people with a grievance will strike back with whatever is at hand, and sometimes that's nothing more elaborate than a crude bomb and a suicide attack. As long we continue to act the "ugly American" and are increasingly hated around the world, as long as people like the PNAC group that currently occupies some of the highest offices in the country view the rest of the planet as America's political and economic "colony" to use as we see fit, we will continue to create terrorists faster than we can kill them. Even *if* you destroy Al Qaida, that doesn't win the war on terrorism. If we had nuked Colombia, would that have ended the traffic in illegal drugs? From Colombia, yes. Beware an Al Qaida on the ropes........more dangerous/desperate now than ever. So just when we have them on the ropes, we should withdraw our troops from the region and let them regroup...in the hope that they'll leave us alone once they're less "desperate"? |
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
NOYB wrote: wrote in message oups.com... The Zawahiri letter is pretty strong evidence that the news media has it wrong. We *are* winning the war on terror. And Bush's poll numbers will reflect that in the coming 12 months. Bush's poll numbers may well go up again. At one time he had 80-90% approval ratings (when he retaliated against the Taliban for 9-11). Clarification: We retaliated against the Taliban for harboring those responsible for 9/11. He still had just over half the country either fooled (or too scared of Kerry) and willing to vote for him just a year ago. There's no limit to what some clever packaging and a good PR campaign can sell in this country. Forget about winning the war on terror. That's as hopeless as trying to instill civil discourse in a NG, and for many of the same reasons. Few of the little ****-ant countries in the world can hope to match the (perceived) military might of the US. Perceived? Toe-to-toe conventional military engagements we can typically win with our superior technology. Some people with a grievance will strike back with whatever is at hand, and sometimes that's nothing more elaborate than a crude bomb and a suicide attack. As long we continue to act the "ugly American" and are increasingly hated around the world, as long as people like the PNAC group that currently occupies some of the highest offices in the country view the rest of the planet as America's political and economic "colony" to use as we see fit, we will continue to create terrorists faster than we can kill them. Even *if* you destroy Al Qaida, that doesn't win the war on terrorism. If we had nuked Colombia, would that have ended the traffic in illegal drugs? From Colombia, yes. Beware an Al Qaida on the ropes........more dangerous/desperate now than ever. So just when we have them on the ropes, we should withdraw our troops from the region and let them regroup...in the hope that they'll leave us alone once they're less "desperate"? The main assets of Al Qaida are not in Iraq. Why would you waste your best assets in a hopeless fight against the US military? The decisive battle of this whole mess was Tora Bora and we let in Ladin escape when we sent in our "allies", the Pakistanis, to root him out. |
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#7
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
wrote in message oups.com... NOYB wrote: wrote in message oups.com... The Zawahiri letter is pretty strong evidence that the news media has it wrong. We *are* winning the war on terror. And Bush's poll numbers will reflect that in the coming 12 months. Bush's poll numbers may well go up again. At one time he had 80-90% approval ratings (when he retaliated against the Taliban for 9-11). Clarification: We retaliated against the Taliban for harboring those responsible for 9/11. He still had just over half the country either fooled (or too scared of Kerry) and willing to vote for him just a year ago. There's no limit to what some clever packaging and a good PR campaign can sell in this country. Forget about winning the war on terror. That's as hopeless as trying to instill civil discourse in a NG, and for many of the same reasons. Few of the little ****-ant countries in the world can hope to match the (perceived) military might of the US. Perceived? Toe-to-toe conventional military engagements we can typically win with our superior technology. Some people with a grievance will strike back with whatever is at hand, and sometimes that's nothing more elaborate than a crude bomb and a suicide attack. As long we continue to act the "ugly American" and are increasingly hated around the world, as long as people like the PNAC group that currently occupies some of the highest offices in the country view the rest of the planet as America's political and economic "colony" to use as we see fit, we will continue to create terrorists faster than we can kill them. Even *if* you destroy Al Qaida, that doesn't win the war on terrorism. If we had nuked Colombia, would that have ended the traffic in illegal drugs? From Colombia, yes. Beware an Al Qaida on the ropes........more dangerous/desperate now than ever. So just when we have them on the ropes, we should withdraw our troops from the region and let them regroup...in the hope that they'll leave us alone once they're less "desperate"? The main assets of Al Qaida are not in Iraq. Why would you waste your best assets in a hopeless fight against the US military? Then why do you posit that al Qaeda is "on the ropes"? Al Qaeda doesn't have "best assets". They have terrorists who are willing to blow themselves up to kill infidels. Those terrorists are from all over the Middle East, but are being drawn to Iraq like flies on ****. The decisive battle of this whole mess was Tora Bora and we let in Ladin escape when we sent in our "allies", the Pakistanis, to root him out. If the Pakistanis: a) didn't have nukes, or b) didn't hold the land that we needed to fly over in order to reach Afghanistan, they wouldn't be our "allies". |
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
NOYB wrote: wrote in message oups.com... Harry Krause wrote: wrote: What God Really Told Bush Apparently, it wasn't just "invade Iraq and Afghanistan in my name." A special report By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Wednesday, October 12, 2005 Printable Version Email This Article Mark Morford Archives Subscribe to Notes & Errata Subscribe to RSS Feed Who is this guy? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What God Really Told Bush - Apparently, it wasn't just "i... 10/12/2005 The Best Gizmo You Don't Have - See parents. Check on pets. Star... 10/07/2005 Open Letter To Kate Moss - Oh my waifish, coke-snorting love, ho... 10/05/2005 Love Still Rules San Francisco - Leather, techno, sex & war: mor... 09/30/2005 Kneel Before The Meteorologist - At last, one scientist BushCo w... 09/28/2005 Scene: White House private residence, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies PJs. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hair-spray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks: "Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of eight billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes you are! Yes you are! OK, stop giggling. I have more commands. Get off the damn hobbyhorse, George, and get a pen and a notepad. No, not a crayon. I don't care if blue is your favori-- George! Get a pen! OK? Good. Here we go: "As you know, I'm not quite what everyone thinks. I am not all benevolence and love and light. In fact, I have a downright dark side, mean and nasty and cunning, and I want you, George, to continue to be my special right-hand man. My special little guy. In fact, you shall help enact my wrath, Dubya. Doesn't that sound fun? "There are three things I love, George: war, revenge, suffering. Oh, and smiting the heathens. OK, four things. And kickboxing. Five things. There are five things I love, Dubya. You with me? And you and your demon monkeys are enacting the first four admirably, George. Don't be shy, go ahead and tell those Palestinian officials you were commanded by God to "restore peace" in the Middle East by bombing nearly defenseless, pip-squeak Iraq and Afghanistan to smithereens. They love that stuff. "But let's put the delicious war stuff aside for a moment. I need to round out my oeuvre. Here's the plan: I'm gonna wreak some major havoc on one of your poorest, most racially mixed, underfunded cities by hurling a massive hurricane at them, flooding the place and killing hundreds of poor people you don't even know exist because you thought they all lived somewhere in Africa. It's all right, the biggest city, New Orleans, will be full of Kerry-loving Democrats. Yeah, I thought you'd like that. "Here's where you come in, George: When those rains come, I want you to sit back for a few days, stay in the hammock in Crawford, have a lemonade, OK? Let those dead bodies float around New Orleans like it was some remote village in Nigeria. Then look completely baffled when everyone blames you for your administration's miserable response. You'll take some flak for it, but did I ever say serving me would be easy? Besides, people need to know I'm still here, still angry, getting angrier. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you. How does eternal damnati-- er, blessed sainthood sound? Good. "OK, moving on. I have a secret, George. Here it is: I hate this me-forsaken planet. All this so-called beauty, nature and the magic of science and the poetry of cells -- you know what Earth is to me? High maintenance, that's what. A massive pain in my hallowed butt. Growing all that food, blowing the wind, churning the oceans -- it's exhausting. Plus my energy bills are skyrocketing. Heating India and Turkey cost me 87 trillion last month alone. What am I, made of money? Well yes, of course I am. But no matter. I'm sick of it. "Here's the plan, George: I want you to despoil, OK? Rivers and air and lakes, wildlife preserves and pristine forests and salmon runs and bird sanctuaries. Screw 'em, Dubya. Screw 'em all. I want you to be the worst environmental president in 50 years, OK? Hell, make it 100. I want you to roll back more environmental protections and do more damage to the place in eight months than my bitch Ronnie Reagan did in eight years. Rape the joint clean. Sell it all off to your cronies in big industry and help me hasten Armageddon. Deal? Here's the truth, Dubya: Earth's a giant liver-flavored Kong toy and you're a rabid terrier. Now, go get it, boy! "Damn kids these days. Who needs so many? Why not send tens of thousands of them off to fight your two brutal, unwinnable wars? Why not Vietnam 2.0? Hell yes! Because if there's one thing I love more than useless wars, George, it's thousands of mutilated soldiers coming home in body bags, all draped in the pretty American flag. Twenty-one gun salute! For God and country! Righteous. "Speaking of uppity kids, I know my own brat Jesus came down here once and mumbled some flower-child gibberish about turning the other cheek and not killing anyone and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you and yadda-yadda-yadda. That's what happens when you give the kids the car keys and an unsupervised weekend, am I right? It's all complete bupkes, but I don't have to tell you that, now do I? "So here's what I want you to do, George. I want your demoralized military shlubs to capture as many swarthy types as possible, whenever they raid an Iraqi home or school or Afghan farm, and throw them all straight into a military prison and let 'em rot and wait for months, years for a fair hearing. Got it? "Strip them naked! Stick electrodes on their genitals! Smear menstrual blood on their faces! Beat 'em senseless! I don't care if they're innocent. I sayeth unto you, innocence is overrated. Rape the boys, too. Then cover it all up and blame it all on a poor, dim-witted female soldier from Kentucky and shove her into prison for three years while all the honchos who sanctioned the torture (hi, Rummy!) merely smirk and walk away. God sayeth unto you all, rock on! "I know, everyone says I'm made of pure love. Ha. Truth is, I'm made of aluminum chloride and coal cinders and something I'm not quite sure about but I think might be MSG. Oh yeah, and money. Fifties, mostly. "I gotta run, George. But rest assured, I'll be back soon, with more ideas. But there's one more thing you need to know, one thing you absolutely cannot forget. Remember our Super Triple Secret, George? Pinky swear? Spit handshake? Atta boy. "Here it is: We both know who I really am, don't we? I know you secretly admire my scaly red flesh, my shining black eyes, these bitchin' horns, the breath worse than Rove's after his morning meal of seared panda hearts. Of course you know the real God is more than a little disgusted by you and your administration, right? "Well, screw her. Typical woman, all benevolent and chthonic and compassionate. We know who's really in charge of your nasty administration, don't we, Dubya? Damned right. And I mean that literally. Keep your hands in the fire, if you know what I mean. Now c'mere and give me a hot tongue kiss. Sorry about charring the carpet. Sweet dreams." I'm reassessing Bush. I've thought he was the worst president in my lifetime, but I'm beginning to think he's the worst president in the history of the United States. Even poor NOYB's Rasmussen Poll is becoming consistent: Wish he'd quit hiding, I'd love to see how he would spin the polls now! I wasn't hiding. I was fishing for the past 4 days. Bush has been at 43% in Rasmussen's poll before. He remained there for 2 days in a row this time, and has moved up a notch to 44% again. Statistically, he's in the mid-40's right now, but polls are funny. Fuel prices are coming down, and Iraq is ready to adopt its constitution. Additionally, a recently released letter from Zawahiri to Zarqawi shows that al Qaeda may be in some tough times right now. There's dissention in the ranks, and there's a madman in Iraq who seems to be operating outside the control of al Qaeda's leaders hiding in northwest Pakistan. The Zawahiri letter is pretty strong evidence that the news media has it wrong. We *are* winning the war on terror. And Bush's poll numbers will reflect that in the coming 12 months. Hehe!! So...now you are telling us that we should BELIEVE what al Qaeda tells us????? PS. the rest of your crap above is nothing but spin drivel talking points. Almost word for word from Rush!!! |
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#9
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
wrote in message ups.com... PS. the rest of your crap above is nothing but spin drivel talking points. Almost word for word from Rush!!! I'll have to take your word on that...since I don't listen to Rush. |
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#10
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OT What God REALLY told Bush
"NOYB" wrote in message link.net... wrote in message ups.com... PS. the rest of your crap above is nothing but spin drivel talking points. Almost word for word from Rush!!! I'll have to take your word on that...since I don't listen to Rush. Have you noticed that the "new" liebral strategy is to point at "Rush" It is along the same lines as a "Hitler or Nazi" comparison when they are devoid of any real rebuttal. BTW........"Rush" is not much more than a newsreader........the times I have heard him has been a repeat of what I already read online in the morning. |
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