I've run out of lies - help!
 

It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article ,
says...
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

You're awarding tildes?

Grand Jury duty
Customer carrot inventory
Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)
Penile girth reduction or prepping for your conversion to Judaism (oy!)
Urinal tract reaming (big sympathy on this one)
Breast reduction or enlargement
Bailing my son out of jail
Busting up a local meth ring
Annual day spa trip
You've been indicted
Your baptism or Rebirth
Chance to meet Pat Robertson, Robert Schuler or Franklin Graham
Jogging with Al Sharpton
Trying out for Martha Stewart's Apprentice Show or Jeopardy
Attending the fire department's fundraiser featuring Bobo

Feel free to use unaltered or edited to your satisfaction.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 05:39:48 +0000, Doug Kanter wrote:

It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose
down clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can
take the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas
before 7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of
these things: ~

Thank you.

Wrong approach. Don't think about separate lies. The right approach is
to develop a recurring illness that you can use regularly. Say a
digestive problem. Complain about it regularly, so that everyone knows
you have a bad stomach. On the days you do show up, they'll think your
great. "Damn, he's working all day, and with that stomach of his." Then,
there will be the days it is just too much to make it in. ;-)

I've run out of lies - help!
 

"jps" wrote in message
...
In article ,
says...
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose
down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can
take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas
before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

You're awarding tildes?

Yes. Tildes. I got a million of them here.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

Doug Kanter wrote:
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.


Suffering from a case of superior recto-cranal insertion. It might sound
bad, especially the 'insertion' after the recto reference, but in
laymans' terms, it can be translated into 'my boss has his head up his
ass".

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 15:45:14 -0500, Harry Krause wrote:

John H. wrote:
On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?

It's a bit hypocritical for you to whine when all your posts bear a
"tagline" you attribute to me that, of course, I never stated or posted.

Well, what *did* you say, Krause?

PS. 'HK' does not necessarily (using Chuck's logic) stand for Harry Krause. It
could well be something else.
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , PocoLoco415
@hotmail.com says...
On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?

What does having a rectal fissure have to do with being gay?

You imagine insults where there are none.

Rectal fissure are a human condition, not a gay condition.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , says...


On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

And where might your ground breaking excuses be hiding, Mr. Fissure?

jps