I've run out of lies - help!
 

It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article ,
says...
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

You're awarding tildes?

Grand Jury duty
Customer carrot inventory
Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)
Penile girth reduction or prepping for your conversion to Judaism (oy!)
Urinal tract reaming (big sympathy on this one)
Breast reduction or enlargement
Bailing my son out of jail
Busting up a local meth ring
Annual day spa trip
You've been indicted
Your baptism or Rebirth
Chance to meet Pat Robertson, Robert Schuler or Franklin Graham
Jogging with Al Sharpton
Trying out for Martha Stewart's Apprentice Show or Jeopardy
Attending the fire department's fundraiser featuring Bobo

Feel free to use unaltered or edited to your satisfaction.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 05:39:48 +0000, Doug Kanter wrote:

It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose
down clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can
take the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas
before 7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of
these things: ~

Thank you.

Wrong approach. Don't think about separate lies. The right approach is
to develop a recurring illness that you can use regularly. Say a
digestive problem. Complain about it regularly, so that everyone knows
you have a bad stomach. On the days you do show up, they'll think your
great. "Damn, he's working all day, and with that stomach of his." Then,
there will be the days it is just too much to make it in. ;-)

I've run out of lies - help!
 

"jps" wrote in message
...
In article ,
says...
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose
down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can
take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas
before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.

You're awarding tildes?

Yes. Tildes. I got a million of them here.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

Doug Kanter wrote:
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~

Thank you.


Suffering from a case of superior recto-cranal insertion. It might sound
bad, especially the 'insertion' after the recto reference, but in
laymans' terms, it can be translated into 'my boss has his head up his
ass".

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 15:45:14 -0500, Harry Krause wrote:

John H. wrote:
On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?

It's a bit hypocritical for you to whine when all your posts bear a
"tagline" you attribute to me that, of course, I never stated or posted.

Well, what *did* you say, Krause?

PS. 'HK' does not necessarily (using Chuck's logic) stand for Harry Krause. It
could well be something else.
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , PocoLoco415
@hotmail.com says...
On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?

What does having a rectal fissure have to do with being gay?

You imagine insults where there are none.

Rectal fissure are a human condition, not a gay condition.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , says...


On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

And where might your ground breaking excuses be hiding, Mr. Fissure?

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

JohnH,
Why would Harry think HK stood for him, unless he has guilty conscience? ;)




"John H." wrote in message
...
On Fri, 04 Nov 2005 15:45:14 -0500, Harry Krause
wrote:

John H. wrote:
On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)

You, Harry, Kevin and one or two others seem fixated on the anus. Then
one of
you begins with the bukkake talk. All of you get angry if gays are put
down for
anything.

Do you guys ever get together and practice what you preach?

It's a bit hypocritical for you to whine when all your posts bear a
"tagline" you attribute to me that, of course, I never stated or posted.

Well, what *did* you say, Krause?

PS. 'HK' does not necessarily (using Chuck's logic) stand for Harry
Krause. It
could well be something else.
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not. Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.


" *JimH*" wrote in message
...


On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Sat, 5 Nov 2005 07:26:48 -0500, "Dr. Dr. Smithers" Ask Me about my Phd @
Diploma Mill .com wrote:

JohnH,
Why would Harry think HK stood for him, unless he has guilty conscience? ;)

I've no idea. Maybe Harry doesn't read Chuck's posts, 'cause he sure stepped
into that one.

Did you note that he won't answer the question about what he said? That must
have been an experience too painful to discuss.
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Sat, 5 Nov 2005 07:41:56 -0500, "Dr. Dr. Smithers" Ask Me about my Phd @
Diploma Mill .com wrote:

Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not. Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.

Lovely locution!


--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

JohnH,
It is a lovely locution, especially when the liberals lemmings are leaping.
; )
"John H." wrote in message
...
On Sat, 5 Nov 2005 07:41:56 -0500, "Dr. Dr. Smithers" Ask Me about my
Phd @
Diploma Mill .com wrote:

Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not.
Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the
same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.

Lovely locution!


--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

Just like the right goose stepping with Bush on Harriet Miers. Oh, wait a
minute that didn't happen.

"Dr. Dr. Smithers" Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com wrote in
message ...
Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not.
Even Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating
the same locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge
into the lathered littoral to end their lame life.


" *JimH*" wrote in message
...


On Thu, 3 Nov 2005 23:43:36 -0800, jps wrote:

Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)


How absolutely original.

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , "Dr. Dr. Smithers"
Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com says...
Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not. Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.

And all you flaming fissures are foundering in the flatulent falsities
of your ****ing fantasies.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Sat, 5 Nov 2005 10:37:10 -0800, jps wrote:

In article , "Dr. Dr. Smithers"
Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com says...
Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not. Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.

And all you flaming fissures are foundering in the flatulent falsities
of your ****ing fantasies.

jps

I think Kevin still has you beat. But, you're getting closer!
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

HK

I've run out of lies - help!
 

I am not a fissure.


"jps" wrote in message
...
In article , "Dr. Dr. Smithers"
Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com says...
Has anyone else noticed how the liberal lemmings all goosestep in a
borg-like manner to the exact same buzz words.

One would think they would have an original thought, but I guess not.
Even
Gould has resorted to lining up with the liberal lemmings repeating the
same
locution as they leisurely and lamely leap off the lofty ledge into the
lathered littoral to end their lame life.

And all you flaming fissures are foundering in the flatulent falsities
of your ****ing fantasies.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

In article , "Dr. Dr. Smithers"
Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com says...

I am not a fissure.

That depends on who is observing you and at what time of day.

Beauty is in the *eye* of the beholder.

jps

I've run out of lies - help!
 

On Sat, 05 Nov 2005 19:44:45 -0500, Harry Krause wrote:

jps wrote:
In article , "Dr. Dr. Smithers"
Ask Me about my Phd @ Diploma Mill .com says...

I am not a fissure.

That depends on who is observing you and at what time of day.

Beauty is in the *eye* of the beholder.

jps


Smithers is lying again. He most certainly is a pus-filled rectal fissure.

You guys and your anal fixation.
--
John H

"It's *not* a baby kicking, bride of mine, it's just a fetus!"

Hypocrital Liberal