For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father
said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000
and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a
suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him,

"I was walking past your room last night heard you telling Mom you were
pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage &
no bike!"

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by
and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have
lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife
who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

And:
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it
started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end
and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is,
after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand
she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

On 27 Jan 2006 11:18:37 -0800, wrote:



An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by
and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have
lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife
who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

And:
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it
started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end
and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is,
after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand
she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

LOL!

You ought to stop making fun of us old folks!!
--
'Til next time,

John H

******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

wrote in message
oups.com...


An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by
and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have
lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife
who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

And:
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it
started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end
and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is,
after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand
she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.


Great jokes!