China Says It’s ‘Too Late’ To Recall Huge Shipment of Turkeys
70 Million Toxic Birds Sent to U.S. Last Week

Officials from a major food exporter in China apologized to American
consumers today for shipping over 70 million poisonous turkeys to the
U.S. early last week, but indicated that it was “too late” for a recall
of their toxic food product.

A spokesman for the Wuhan Food Exportation Company said that while the
company “deeply regretted” the shipment, the error was not discovered
until Friday morning, making a recall of the birds “virtually impossible.”

“It would be problematic to recall such a massive shipment,” the
spokesman said. “Those turkeys were sent to virtually every store in the
U.S.”

At a press conference on Saturday to discuss what went wrong with the
shipment of turkeys, Wuhan officials revealed that the birds had been
fed an experimental combination of birdseed, lead pellets, and date-rape
drugs.

“Going forward, we’re going to skip the lead pellets,” said Qiu
Liangyong, the company’s public relations director.

In an attempt to regain the confidence of the American consumer, Qiu
said that in the future all turkeys shipped to the U.S. would include a
warning label, but under tough questioning from reporters he conceded
that the label would be printed in Chinese.

At the conclusion of the press conference, Qiu indicated that he was
“confident” that the company could regain U.S. consumers’ trust in time
for the Christmas season: “We have 80 million delicious Christmas hams
just waiting to be shipped.”


Reporter: Andy Borowitz

On Nov 26, 6:28 am, HK wrote:
China Says It's 'Too Late' To Recall Huge Shipment of Turkeys
70 Million Toxic Birds Sent to U.S. Last Week

Officials from a major food exporter in China apologized to American
consumers today for shipping over 70 million poisonous turkeys to the
U.S. early last week, but indicated that it was "too late" for a recall
of their toxic food product.

A spokesman for the Wuhan Food Exportation Company said that while the
company "deeply regretted" the shipment, the error was not discovered
until Friday morning, making a recall of the birds "virtually impossible."

"It would be problematic to recall such a massive shipment," the
spokesman said. "Those turkeys were sent to virtually every store in the
U.S."

At a press conference on Saturday to discuss what went wrong with the
shipment of turkeys, Wuhan officials revealed that the birds had been
fed an experimental combination of birdseed, lead pellets, and date-rape
drugs.

"Going forward, we're going to skip the lead pellets," said Qiu
Liangyong, the company's public relations director.

In an attempt to regain the confidence of the American consumer, Qiu
said that in the future all turkeys shipped to the U.S. would include a
warning label, but under tough questioning from reporters he conceded
that the label would be printed in Chinese.

At the conclusion of the press conference, Qiu indicated that he was
"confident" that the company could regain U.S. consumers' trust in time
for the Christmas season: "We have 80 million delicious Christmas hams
just waiting to be shipped."

Reporter: Andy Borowitz

"It's unwise to pay too much, but it's worse to pay too little. When
you pay too much, you lose a little money--that is all. When you pay
too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you
bought was incapable of doing the job is was bought to do. The common
law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot.
It can't be done.

"There is nothing in this world that some man cannot make a little
worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price
alone are this man's lawful prey."

John Ruskin

"HK" wrote in message
...
China Says It’s ‘Too Late’ To Recall Huge Shipment of Turkeys
70 Million Toxic Birds Sent to U.S. Last Week

Officials from a major food exporter in China apologized to American
consumers today for shipping over 70 million poisonous turkeys to the U.S.
early last week, but indicated that it was “too late” for a recall of
their toxic food product.

A spokesman for the Wuhan Food Exportation Company said that while the
company “deeply regretted” the shipment, the error was not discovered
until Friday morning, making a recall of the birds “virtually impossible.”

“It would be problematic to recall such a massive shipment,” the spokesman
said. “Those turkeys were sent to virtually every store in the U.S.”


Hee hee.. you had me going up till this part.......
Sure wouldn't want to see our American cousins deep frying those birds.

On Nov 26, 9:28 am, HK wrote:
China Says It's 'Too Late' To Recall Huge Shipment of Turkeys
70 Million Toxic Birds Sent to U.S. Last Week

Officials from a major food exporter in China apologized to American
consumers today for shipping over 70 million poisonous turkeys to the
U.S. early last week, but indicated that it was "too late" for a recall
of their toxic food product.

A spokesman for the Wuhan Food Exportation Company said that while the
company "deeply regretted" the shipment, the error was not discovered
until Friday morning, making a recall of the birds "virtually impossible."

"It would be problematic to recall such a massive shipment," the
spokesman said. "Those turkeys were sent to virtually every store in the
U.S."

At a press conference on Saturday to discuss what went wrong with the
shipment of turkeys, Wuhan officials revealed that the birds had been
fed an experimental combination of birdseed, lead pellets, and date-rape
drugs.

"Going forward, we're going to skip the lead pellets," said Qiu
Liangyong, the company's public relations director.

In an attempt to regain the confidence of the American consumer, Qiu
said that in the future all turkeys shipped to the U.S. would include a
warning label, but under tough questioning from reporters he conceded
that the label would be printed in Chinese.

At the conclusion of the press conference, Qiu indicated that he was
"confident" that the company could regain U.S. consumers' trust in time
for the Christmas season: "We have 80 million delicious Christmas hams
just waiting to be shipped."

Reporter: Andy Borowitz

The toxins are probably from steaming the turkey in plastic bags!